Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Time is on your side, strapped to your ribs

Mrs. Slug asked, "What are we going to wear to the New Years party?" Naturally, we all like to look our best, don't we? Mr. Slug looked his wife in the eye and said, "I'll need my dinner jacket and tuxedo shirt to go to the cleaners at once!" The garments were delivered immediately. The rush order will be ready to pick up at exactly 4:30pm on Dec. 31, 2008. Mr. Slug says, "There is no time to waste!!! Slide! SSSSLIDE!!! Dammit, Slug, slide toward the New Year! Be quick about it! Wheeeee!!!"

Monday, December 29, 2008

Chock full of well rested slugs at Slug's Rest

As we pull in to platform number 2009 at the railway station of life, the royal inhabitants whom reside at Slug's Rest are reminded, "It is the little things that make every day more exciting and fun." Indeed. I dare say. Mr. and Mrs. Slug had quite a number of invited, and, uninvited guests to the estate this past month. All were welcome and treated like family! Even the wildlife knows where to find the premium label treats! Just for the record............Alcohol was not served to the forest animals at any time during their visit. You may, however, find an erratic slug trail or two on the grounds if you look closely enough.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Eight arms make for light work, as well as a tasty dinner!

Although it has been somewhat chilly of late, we have been blessed to have some decent rainy weather here at the coast while other parts of the country remain in either a deep freeze or getting severe weather alerts from the convergence of the warm and cold fronts hitting each other. Thank goodness for the little things....Santa has come and gone safely. Everything was as it should be, so,....the carefree slugs decided to go out and see a movie. They originally slid out to see the new comedy starring actor Slim Scary called "Yes, Slug." Somehow they ended up seeing just the opposite! Mr. Slug insisted on an action flick. Mrs. Slug warned Mr. Slug that he might have nightmares if they go to see this particular movie. It is called, "Octogantua devours the swamp!" AAGGGHHHH! Scared ya, didn't I? Well, it certainly scared Mr. Slug! He drank three full mugs camomille tea to calm his jittery tail! O.K., maybe it was a LITTLE bit cold out there.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Santa must have had fun getting this down the chimney!

Mrs. Slug was delighted with her Christmas gift, as Mr. Slug suspected that she would be. The only trouble with it was that I think Mr. Slug would have preferred to relax inside the house on Christmas day, whereas Mrs. Slug was ready to RIDE!!

Why is everything closed today? I have needs!

When Mr. Slug asks someone a question, he does not expect to be toyed with, he just wants a simple answer to a simple question.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Those Christmas hats look Gooooo'ed!

As you can see, these Christmas slugs are prepared for you on the backside of the more expensive "Mistletoe print" napkins, and therefore, a rare collectors Christmas edition of the Slug Adventures archives, made especially for you! Yeah! ~Alright!~ Righteous! You might even get some money for it at a pawn shop, once they open again.

There's mistletoe afoot! Kiss me quick!

Never trust young slugs to behave themselves when there is mistletoe around to cause trouble!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A tale of tandem tails that will soon hit the trails!

Christmas is here. The slugs are feverishly preparing for Santa's arrival. The cookies and milk have been placed in plain sight for Mr. Cringle. All gifts are wrapped and snuggled under the aluminum retro silver sparkly Christmas tree................except for one...........Mr. Slug has promised his beloved Mrs. Slug that he will set up her bicycle, get her a new bike shoe if she needs one, fit her with a shiny new bike helmet and train with her. Mr. Slug is not sure he will be able to wrap a present this large, so he spilled the beans and told her his plan..................she was absolutely delighted with the news! Can I get a "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!?"

Friday, December 19, 2008

Fresh is not just a state of mind!

Even though the stores are full of shoppers, they are not necessarily buying up everything in sight as they have in years past. You can cut a fine deal on the overstock, but you need to be willing to take it home a little shopworn. Here's a helpful holiday tip for you: Add a little moisture to those slugs and they will be perfectly servicable!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Gift wrapped for your enjoyment

There's nothing better than a box of fresh workers to help get the house ready for the holidays!

Keep that stiff upper lip in a fixed smile!

Mr. Slug is constantly on the lookout for a rewarding new career working with like minded fellows who enjoy getting things done.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

It's beginning to look alot like Slugs Rest

It may be bitter cold, but the sun was high in the sky today, helping to slowly thaw the icy roads, thus helping the belly of a slug to slide freely and safely. No need for tire chains for these happy slugs! The weather forcast is for more rain, sleet and snow in the next few days, so I urge my fellow drivers to be careful while driving this week, and watch for cross country skiers, the occaisional diehard mountain bike rider, and packs of renegade sliding slugs.

Silvery sparkly slug trails mark the spot!

House guests are a normal part of the holiday season. There was, however, one member of the Slugs Rest household that was not terribly fond of our visitors all night antics! It seems that the common garden slug enjoys the flavor of Purina Cat Chow. Mr. Shiva the cat will stand next to his bowl and whine when they are present. We heard him meowing.......We went to see what was the matter......The evidence was clear! There were silvery trails of slug goo all over his bowl! Someone call the cops! Next time we will give the cat fair warning when we decide to throw a shindig.

Monday, December 15, 2008

A perfect landing

It is a good thing that Mr. Slug knows what to pack in his luggage when he goes on a business trip! The luggage will sometimes have an overweight charge added, but it is worth every penny to have what you need, when you need it. Mr. Slug says: "Personal comfort is of the utmost importance to me!"

I think I lost my shoe a mile or two back

Sometimes we high powered executives must do things that are uncomfortable, require travel and cause us to become cold and shivery. To that, I say, "Be brave young Slugs and Lunchboxes, you gotta do what you gotta do, then you shall celebrate victory!"

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Mighty fine weather we're having!

I had to dig this sopping wet slug from the collection to show you that the wet weather is having an effect on Mr. Slug, who believes that having the right gear is essential. If you were to go to England, you would use a "bumbershoot" and not an umbrella, also called a "Ballella" in the USA.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Mr. Canopener bares a tooth and shows his metal

Everyone has a friend or two that they don't understand fully. Mr. Canopener is one of those interesting individuals in Mr. Slug's circle that refuses to abide by the rules, but you gotta love him anyway.

Flying off the shelves!

What machine is capable of fixing the economy in 2009? Introducing the most brilliant invention that the foot, or tail, has ever seen......The Booty Kicker 2000! A motivational aid that will send the competition reeling! Extra charge for shipping and handling, attachments not included. Order yours before supplies run out, or run away!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

It would take an entire army..........

Mr. Slug has told those two friends of his to settle down and behave themselves, but they continue to irritate each other. Mr. Slug asks an important question, "Don't they know that they are on the same team?" We all know that good manners are essential for safety and well being in the workplace, and Mr. Slug has had enough of this squabbling! Pipe down, you two!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

It pays to pay attention to your tail

The shorter days force many slugs to work in the dark when they get home in the evening. Inattention to detail, coupled with sleepiness can be a volatile cocktail of DANGER! Mrs. Slug has prescribed a tail bandaid and an early bedtime for Mr. Slug tonight.
To that, Mr. Slug says, "Nighty-Night" everyone!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Too fit to be tied

Mr. Slug finds it hard to concentrate on being positive when his co-workers insist upon poking each other in the belly all day long. He has decided to take to the skies to review the situation. His outlook has improved considerably!

Stand back everybody

Sometimes the best thing to do in these situations is to stay clear and let the offended parties work out differences with plenty of space around them.
It is times like this that Mr. Slug tries to concentrate on loving thoughts so as not to get involved with the personal problems of others around him.

Introducing the Notorious Mr. Lunchbag! "You can call him "Sir."

Way back in Mr. Slug's past is an old lunch pal, "The Notorious Mr. Lunchbag." He was replaced by another seemingly more stable worker, Mr. LunchBOX (that still remains to be seen...) and left the jobsite one day, crumpled and angry.
Mr. Slug tried to make amends by insisting that the management make an effort to hire him when the new guy, Mr. LunchBOX had a day off. If the new guy, Mr. LunchBOX, shows up tardy or hung over, notorious Mr. Lunchbag is right there to pick up the slack. Apparently, he can only be tolerated in short spurts. The notorious Mr. Lunchbag was originally let go due to a "personality conflict." The general consensus among his co-workers is that he simply needed to clean up his colorful vocabulary around the boss! Stay tuned as the drama unfolds!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Let's go Christmas flopping!

Let's hope that the brick and mortar stores don't go away in the age of the internet. How else will Mr. Slug take the belly warmer for a test drive? Also - Mr. Slug would like to remind you to unplug your appliances when not in use.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Popularity has its price

Lately, there have been people waving at Mr. Slug for no reason at all. It has begun to make him more concerned with his appearance out in public. He has recently hired a bodyguard and a wardrobe assistant, just in case!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Mr. Slug is steppin' out

Mr. Slug Says, "Enjoy your free market and spend your money, buy yourself the finer things in life, (after all, you deserve it!)......and put on your dancing shoe!"

Current events, politics, toes, and you

Since I am here to serve you, my dear smart and loyal reader, I will commence to answer your request for a Mr. Slug Adventure that is timely and up to date. Heck - You won't even have to read the news anymore....................For instance - if you want to know who won this years election, look no further. It was Barack Toebama!

An embarrassing itch can be rather serious!

It seems that the poor fit of Mr. Slug's commode has caused a rash that will not go away. Mr. Slug is forced to go outside into the cold air to do his business! Oh No!

A precarious perch for Mr. Slug

The word of the day is "Precarious". Even the most routine tasks can take on a certain danger if the product in use is not ergonomically shaped for the intended user. Mr. Slug is thinking of inventing a seatbelt for his toidy. Brilliant idea, I dare say!

"A million bucks for your thoughts"

(drum roll continued)
Here it is, folks! The Hope diamond of slug cartoons, the rarest of rare meats indeed! Iron fortified and stained with the dye used on the backside of the napkin, this Mr. Slug cartoon is priceless and is being stored in a highly protective ziplock bag, with round the clock guards posted outside the Slug's Rest Compound, which is located deep in the woods somewhere in Oregon. I would bet that we will need a fully armored transport when this fine document finds its high bidder at a Christie's Auction!

The underbelly of the next slug cartoon shown here!

You may be wondering why I would post the picture of the fine Sparkle brand napkin shown here. I feel it is important to know every aspect of the subject you are studying. Your Mr. Slug resides on the back of this very napkin, and his drawing is slightly discolored as a result....So, in case you think I spilled my bowl of cereal or otherwise soiled upon the handiwork, you now know the exciting truth. This is a rare "printed napkin slug" and it is likely to be valued at more than a million dollars one day in the very near future. Drum roll please.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Next time, call a professional!

When dealing with pest invasion, it is unwise to think you can outwit the little creatures with mere traps. They are smart, sneaky and will beat you at your own game. Mr. and Mrs. Slug learned a valuable lesson. If you hear a noise in the night, it might be your spouse, trapped by a rat!

Fashionable does not mean comfortable!

"Honey, may I borrow a pair of your pants?"......................"But of course you may, my dear!" A minute or two passes with audible grunts from the next room. "Are you sure those will be comfortable enough to work in? Turn around, let me get a good look at ya...............you look mighty good in them jeans! Hold still while I go search for my camera!"

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Sluggy Gump slides home for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a great time to go home and sit in front of the TV and watch the classic movies from our youth. Mr. Slug says, "Gather round the flat screen, everybody! Happy Thanksgiving!"

Bubba Slug has to babysit

A Slug's gotta do what a Slug's gotta do............Bubba Slug's girlfriend knew that Bubba would be delighted to help her out when she decided to go shopping with her friends. Mr. Slug and Bubba Slug had already made other plans to work on the boat in the driveway. Bubba made the phone call hoping that Mr. Slug would find a way to help a brother out! Looks like Bubba was outta luck for the moment.

Only the finest for Mr. Slug!

High quality materials make the difference when it comes to treating oneself right. Mr. Slug says, "Never economize if you are aiming for safety and ease of movement!" Point well taken.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Did Mr. Slug fall asleep in the shower?

Ahhh, the restful feeling of the warm water washing over the tail can make one very sleepy indeed.......perhaps even causing one to fall asleep in the shower.....which is likely to make Mr. Bed very jealous! "I have a pillow with your name on it," says he.

Mr. Slug is freed from the dreaded Mr. Clampy!

Mrs. Slug to the rescue!!!!! Mr. Clampy had her darling husband by the tail at the bank, so Mrs. Slug grabbed a pen and started drawing furiously.....as you can see, she ran out of ink during the rescue attempt, but ditched the offending black pen for another that worked well enough to get Mr. Slug out of trouble with the dreaded Mr. Clampy!! Whew.....that was close!

Mr. Clampy finds Mr. Slug at the bank

Monday finds Mr. Slug attending to the daily task of money management. He would have cashed his check at the bank that it was drawn upon before depositing it if he knew in advance that Mr. Clampy would rear his ugly head! Good thing his wife Mrs. Slug knows how to literally draw a bank, with a ball point pen no less, as she is sure to get him outta this mess!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Mr. Slug says, "Buy! Buy! Buy!"

The success of every slug depends upon good decision making. Mr. Slug likes to watch the trends closely........When an investment is hot, you slide in as fast as possible!

Froggy sleeps it off

Mr Slug noticed that the froggy looked tired today. It is not surprising......considering the long night out on the tiles at the favorite watering holes!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Froggy meets Mr. Slug

Mr. Slug says: "It is indeed possible for all of us to get along. Be kind to each other. All good advice. However, I have this to add........If you are a hungry frog, please don't eat so much that you become unrecognizable. It is important to me that I remember your name."

A Little Debbie snack cake in the lunch plans

Mrs Slug prepared a special second lunch for Mr. Slug's co-worker named "Bubba Slug" one day. There was only one snack cake between the two of them. There was trouble.

A cattle prod and thou

Mr Slug awoke on a weekend morning to find he was feeling energetic and lively! He wanted to wake up his beautiful wifenslug so that she might join him in a fun activity. Let it be known that Mrs. Slug has been keeping a very busy schedule of late, and was planning to sleep in. (She spent all evening playing the xylophone in the orchestra pit last night, and finds that she can hardly move her tail this morning)............. Good luck, Mr. Slug!

A happy and chipper worker is Mr. Slug today!

Mr. Slug knows that his success is determined by the impression he leaves upon others. Mr. Slug says: "If one is prepared and well tooled, it shall have a positive effect on his attitude as well as those who surround him!"

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Back to the belly grind!

Mrs. Slug noticed that Mr. Slug looked sleepy when he left to work this morning.

Better look where you slide!

Mr. Slug got a vicious scratching on his belly when he ventured down the stairs this morning. It is at times like this that he is grateful to have a wife that will take care him.

Slug's Rest gets plush new carpet installed

Mr. Slug knows the value of good flooring in a home. He also knows that a slug can save money when the flooring surface is cleared and prepped for the carpet installers. All nails were removed, all furniture cleared from the rooms........Good thinking, Mr. Slug!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Home is where the hearth is

One of the reasons Mrs. Slug fell in love with Mr. Slug is that he took the time to read to her during courtship. Mr. Slug has a wonderfully resonant voice that will send Mrs. Slug into a dreamlike state almost instantly! Mrs. Slug loves the fact that Mr. Slug will continue to read even if Mrs. Slug seems to be asleep. To his surprise, Mrs. Slug can often recite the passages that he was reading to her, even after he knows she was sound asleep. Amazing!

Feeling fine and dandy!

Mr. Slug had thrown out his back one day, doing something simple. He was being a gentleman and pulling out a chair for his lady slug to be seated at the dinner table, when all of a sudden........snick! His back went out. There was only one thing to do......Mrs. Slug plied him with asprin and tied a back support around him and sent him to work! After a long morning of hard physical labor, he opened his lunchbox to find this expertly drawn slug cartoon waiting for him. Nice wife, huh?