Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Confidence is better than lipstick on a slug

Mr. Slug knows that the best thing he can wear out in public is a bright and honest smile. There is no article of clothing that can radiate success better than a relaxed and happy demeanor. Mr. and Mrs. Slug have found that the month has been a smoother slide when they go out the door wearing the "twinkle tail." It costs nothing, looks good, and seems to attract extra goo into Mr. Slug's wallet, which he likes when he is out buying chocolate bars after work.
**Of historical note for hardcore fans of Mr. Slug*** This particular napkin was drawn this very morning and was delivered to you fresh! "Yaaaaayyy!!!" "Can we get a Wheeeee-e-e?!" "Yipppeeee!!!!" Don't look at me that way. It is OK to be excited and cut loose with a yelp of gladness. This is a big deal. A really big deal. This is the first time that this has ever happened. SAME DAY SERVICE. I bet you didn't know......All previous slugs are from the archives of past lunchboxes. Mr. Slug took this napkin out of Mr. Lunchbox TODAY, the 18th day of August, and told me to share it with you at once. I hope you are pleased. Hold that thought. Indefinitely. Now go out there and twinkle that tail! Sell something! YOU!
This motivational message brought to you by "Slugs for an Increasingly Gooey World."


Owen said...

Hmmm, I wonder what kind of toothpaste best brightens a slug smile to help put a sparkle on the corner of each slug tooth ??? Slugate ? Slugodyne ? Fluoroslug ? Perhaps there are slug dentists with special polish for slug tails and teeth ??? In any case, one should always but one's best mantle forward, and shine brightly, while sliding into the slimelight of a new day !!!

babbler said...

Yes, there are slug dentists who put that extra "ting" to the rasp of a smile conscious slug. Mr. Slug and I enjoy The Tail and Hammer brand of toothpaste called Peroxislug. We follow the directions carefully when using it, making sure not to slide over it after spitting it out.

As for keeping your tail nice and perky, Mr. Slug recommends using ordinary sunscreen applied liberally to the outer layers of the slug dermis. It is one of the slipperiest substances available as well as having that "Just been to the beach" attractive smell. He shall certainly be sliding into the "slimelight" (I am still laughing!!!) of the new day with the assurance the tail will not be burned by the hot sun. A well hydrated and pink tail gives a slug a heathy glow!

Thank you for your comment, it is refreshing to see a fellow slug who is interested in looking and feeling his very best. Of course, we must all remember to say to ourselves, "I am a slug, therefore I am beautiful."

olivia said...

LOL, twinkle tail -- love it! :)

Snowbrush said...

"Mr. Slug knows that the best thing he can wear out in public is a bright and honest smile."

What, though, does Mr. Slug do on those days when he doesn't feel like smiling honestly--does he smile dishonestly?

I enjoyed the fresh art. I tell you, I get sick of old paintings--not that any of yours are THAT old. This leads me to wonder, do you have all your previous paintings archived somewhere?

babbler said...

Dear Snowbrush,
Mr. Slug does his best to keep his smile honest, or his smile would not be a smile at all, but rather a snarling lip that drives away business.
On days that Mr. Slug feels less than civil, he barricades himself inside Slugs Rest and sends out for pizza and butterbeer. A courier slug is then employed to deliver any business correspondence for the day, and all calls to Mr. Slug are answered in the order that they are received. A previously recorded happy greeting is utilized on his answering machine, with smooth jazz music playing in the backround to soothe any rattled nerves the caller may be experiencing "due to the long wait time caused by the unusually high volume of calls" to Mr. Slug.

Regarding the archived napkins from Mr. Lunchbox:
There are many unposted lunch napkins from the collection being saved in a protective fire safe located in an undisclosed location on the compound. New napkins are drawn every workday by Mrs. Slug, which are signed and dated. Items which are not dated are thought to be at least 3 years old.
I appreciate your affinity for the fresh art. Therefore, from time to time, I shall make sure to pull fresh entries out of the warm lunchbox and post them herewith while the ink from the ball point pen is still gooey upon the napkin.

Of special note: This particular entry was drawn on a premium quality dinner napkin which tears very easily when one draws on it with a pen. The texture is silky and quite different than the usual lunch napkin, which makes this article a rare and priceless piece of art, hence the need for a firesafe for secure storage of the Slug archives.
Thanks for your inquiry!

JoMo said...

Thanks for the inspiration Slug clan!
Twinkle twinkle :)

Anonymous said...

I like your humor! And the message of the post is so inspiring as well. A twinkling smile from me to twinkle tailed Mr. and Mrs. Slug..^^

Minkey said...

Hello family slug! I love that I was able to read a truly fresh slug tale. Thank you for the stay at slugs' rest, we loved it very much.

Keep smiling!

Minkey, Monkey and all three slug-dogs

katty said...

I really love the lipstick, when i go shopping i prefer to choose a quality lipstick that doesn´t cause any damage in my lips. I take care my lips too much, because i thik this is the sexiest part of our body. So when i feel sexy is better the man buy viagra