Sunday, August 2, 2009

FOR RENT! #77 Slugland Lane


A home is an incredible thing to a slug, as the shell is to a snail. We slugs do not take this fact lightly, and we screen our renters carefully when we find we wish to rent out our beloved abode. The first question that Mr. Slug is likely to ask any potential renter slug is, "How often do you plan to clean the goo stripes off of the front porch?" If there is any hesitation in answering that question, a 3 leaf surcharge will be added to the mothly rent. Otherwise, Mr. Slug will let most things slide, as he is a very reasonable sort of fellow, most of the time.

14 comments:

kj said...

well! i understand blogland lane is an open, diverse, tolerant, and wild community, so this rental should work out just fine.

please inform mr. slug the welcome mat is out.

:)

lagirl said...

Who can blame Mr. Slug for being a bit "picky"?! Not me.

Margaret Pangert said...

Oh, Mrs. Slug, I hope this means you're moving to Blogland Lane? Maybe even #77! You'll have to slither back home now and then to make sure the renters are maintaining the old homestead properly. Maybe Mr. Slug could goo-drop the rules on a leaf for them! LOVE xxox P.S. Be sure and visit me at #1710!

Owen said...

Hmmm, is it time for a well deserved slide to a slug vacation ? Where do slugs go when they take a vacation, anyway ? Maybe to Louisville, to see where the Sluggers come from ?

Well I hope some nice, well behaved sluglets come to rent your place, no thug-slugs I hope...

Owen said...

Oh, PS, just realized what was going on over at Blogland Lane, and staked out a place at #524... hope you slugs will come and visit, just don't forget your patented Rolling Goo Scraper devices, which attach to the tail with a snug belt, and they follow along behind you, scraping up the goo, sort of like a garden hoe on wheels with a goo-catcher basket... can you picture that ?

Snowbrush said...

"please inform mr. slug the welcome mat is out."

KJ and her little friend, Emily, are wonderful, wonderful beings who are the very epitome of tolerance, acceptance, and a respect for diversity. I am not like KJ and Emily. I am more like Hannibal Lektor. Woe is me.

WOE IS ME!

I have a confession to make. I put out slug bait today because it was either the slugs or my coleuses. I hope that you are a meat-eating slug so you won't be offended. I will gladly offer you one of my dogs to eat, and will even cook him (or her) for you if you prefer your meat cooked. After all, they are old dogs anyway, whereas my coleuses are young, and in the front flower bed (the brick planter by the door) no less where everyone can see them.

I know! When you come to visit, I will have you a nice little terrarium for you to stay in so you won't even be tempted to taste that delicious slug bait that I set you. Can you ever forgive me?

Bimbimbie said...

Hello Mrs Slug ... should you care to visit me at no 53 might I impress upon you not to linger in the open for I would hate for you to become someones tasty morsal*!*

babbler said...

Kj:
Thanks for the welcome mat! Slugs like welcome mats, especially the space under them!
Slugs also like wild diverse and tolerant communities because they are not often the most welcome guests in the garden.
I think Mr. Slug will like Blogland lane so much that he will be constructing an entire slugdivision complete with streets, sidewalks and hanging flower pots with drip systems for extra sluggy hydration!

babbler said...

lagirl:

Mr. Slug was born sticky AND picky! Thanks for the comment regarding his rather strict nature with his tenants. He has his tastes.

babbler said...

Margaret:
Yes! We are moving to Blogland Lane! Wheeee! I will finish my comment to you as soon as I get all of these branches and leaves into the moving van.

babbler said...

Owen: Could you help Mr. Slug with this large piece of tire tread? Mr. Slug insists upon keeping it, even though it does not match any of my other decor. I will need to have a discussion with him about it and I promise to return to finish my comment regarding your very interesting comment about the goo scraper devices! Signing off until after the wifely decorating discussion with my dear Mr. Slug.

Snowbrush:

The same goes for you young man! You have made such a thoughtful and intelligent comment that I am forced to think about it carefully before I make my reply!

It is frightfuly late on a "school night"...would you believe Mrs. Slug was still writing gooey contracts until a few minutes ago, the business day refuses to end, so we slid over here and now we have flopped out. Please stand by.

Wendy Christensen said...

Thanks for the 'slug laughs' --- !!

Snowbrush said...

"You have made such a thoughtful and intelligent comment that I am forced to think about it carefully before I make my reply!"

Well, I, myself, have thought much about the matter, and realized that I probably wrote insensitively. My humor sometimes turns toward the out-of-the-way (one might say), and sometimes goes over the top. Perhaps, this time, it went over the top. I am sorry if I caused offense, Mrs. Slug.

Owen said...

Until today I'd never seen a photograph of a slug on a blog... you may enjoy a quick glance at the August 4th post here :

http://parvumopus.blogspot.com/

Slug Power !!!