Sunday, August 30, 2009

Yes, Doctor, I realize I overdid it just a little bit....


During the late summer, Mr. Slug finds that his belly becomes quite itchy due to the warm weather. He decided to invent a machine to take care of his malady. The machine was so effective that he rounded up a few investor slugs who were interested in making a profit on this new and exciting idea. The prototype was wildly popular with the local slugs! Now Mr. Slug has to limit the time that each slug may use the scratching machine because the crowds have become unruly and dangerous! Unfortunately, there is only one of these fantastic machines in the entire world. Let's hope that the machine can go into mass production as soon as possible. If you are a slug who would like to invest in this new product, please indicate how many shares of stock you would like to buy in the Scratchmatic Company. This invention could revolutionize the entire belly scratching industry! Get your piece of the Scratchmatic today!

10 comments:

Sashindoubutsu said...

Hmmmm.. Nice idea, Mr. Slug. I hope that the scratching top is interchangable with something that could do a belly rub (for my dog Luigi) and a back massage for me..^^ That would sound like a bigger version of the machine with the same concept.

Cool post!:)

Owen said...

It may also be necessary to create a designer line of pre- and post-scratching session color coordinated bathrobes. Hopefully the itching machine is self cleaning, sort of like a self cleaning oven ? A long time ago I had a t-shirt with an image of a bear scratching his backside against a tree. The caption said, "If it feels good, do it !" I'll call my slug banker in the morning and get him to look into placing some of the fortune in the Scratchomatic shares, I'm sure there's going to be a great payoff... :-D

Snowbrush said...

"please indicate how many shares of stock you would like to buy in the Scratchmatic Company"

Maybe a little more information, things such as what exchange it's on; it's P/E ratio; whether insider trading is a possibility; whether I might borrow it; etc.

babbler said...

Sashindoubutusu:
Please tell Luigi that Mr. Slug is working on a new belly rub machine but it has not yet been perfected...It rubs him on the eye and he gets blurry vision which makes it hard to finish building the machine. There is a back massage machine shown somewhere in a previous post, you will need to find it and tell me where it is! It is a bigger machine indeed!

babbler said...

Owen:
I liked the pre- and post- scratching session bathrobes idea! We are only able to order them in bulk, so we have chosen to oreder the entire shipment in a zesty fuschia color.
The itching machine must be cleaned manually at this time with a super heated steam wand. Mr. Slug has burned his tail several time attempting to keep his auto-scratcher in top shape for executive demonstrations. His motto is, "If it feels good, keep it clean."
Thank you for having your slug banker look into some shares, we are already seeing some growth, or at least a slight bit of abrasion in the martkets.
:) Mrs. Slug

babbler said...

Snowbrush:
Mrs. Slug will be making a call to Mr. Slug's broker in order to answer your questions as accurately as possible. Hang on a moment while I phone him.."ring" "ring"...Mr. Slug's broker told me we should be currently listed on LIBOR exchange as the Brits love a good scratch. As for insider trading, we try not to admit to anything like that! Look what happened to Martha Stewart!
You may borrow some shares if you like, why else would they call them "Shares?! We have plenty for everybody!!
Thank you Mr. Snowbrush for your excellent question as it forced me to think about the bigger picture. One must always think ahead and slide accordingly!

FCW said...

Too much of a good thing can turn a slug into an Aghast-ropod.

Chris David Richards said...

This is the most satisfied but regretful slug I have ever seen.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Hello, Owen sent me... and now I feel rotten about my current post.
Apologies!
Sx

Owen said...

Dear Mrs Slug,
I hope your brief absence here is just due to normal back to school for slugs in September busy-ness, and not to anything untoward like hordes of school children in the streets carrying saltshakers or lighter fluid and matches or anything else which are anathema to slugs... I couldn't help thinking of you when I saw a post over at Scarlet Blue's place in which there were over 50 comments about the perils of walking in a garden and stepping on slugs... it's funny, since meeting you and Mr Slug here in the virtual world of blogs, I've felt much friendlier toward the slugs that often visit our garden, even if they do eat our lettuce...

Hi Scarlet Blue,
If you see this, oh dear, I'm abashed now, I certainly didn't want anyone to feel rotten; I thought your post was quite fascinating, and especially all the comments illustrate what a widespread issue it is, that of slugs in gardens that are unfortunately apt to be walked on. Not too far back here in Mrs Slugs comment box we discussed a proposition to design a new clothing article for slugs, a sort of portable body armor that would allow them to slide around freely, and yet protect them from crushing blows from above by human feet... And now I'm thinking maybe some lights (like glow-worm light) could be built in to help people see them at night, and avoid walking on them in bare feet or sock feet... Yes indeed, slugs are everywhere, even here in the blogosphere, and perhaps we need to find ways to better co-habitate with our slippery friends, rather than resorting to the so-prevalent knee-jerk reaction of running for the table-salt... At least some of the kinder commenters suggested letting them drown in beer, which I suppose is a kinder form of slugthanasia...

Ah, there I go again, rambling on... see how much fun slugs can be ?! Yessirree, I am most grateful to Mr & Mrs Slug for helping me cast off the shroud of slug aversion...
:-D