Sunday, January 3, 2010
America, land of the brave, home of the free ride to jail!
Mr. Lunchbox and Mr. Thermos were rounded up with a group of drunk slugs amid the chaos of the New Years festivities. This is their story and they are sticking to it:
Messrs. Lunchbox and Thermos had used a cellphone to call a dial-a-ride service and were pleased when a big white van showed up so quickly to take them home. The rear doors were open wide and the nice attendants even helped them in and told them to take a seat toward the front. They fell asleep on the ride home......but they did not go home! They were rudely awakened by the sound of police whistles and voices telling them to exit the vehicle in a single file line....it was then that they realized it was a paddywagon filled with drunk and disorderly slugs who had been participating in the yearly "Sliding of the slugs" under the New Years Ball Drop in Times Square. The two scofflaws were handleprinted and booked along with the pointy hatted, rowdy and raucus slugs. Only a few hours had passed when Mr. Thermos decided to slip through the bars of the jail cell! He was the only prisoner thin enough to fit between them without scratching his flawless stainless steel outer shell, perfect for drinks both hot, and cold. The slugs might have been able to squeeze through as well, had they not been slow and puffy from a night of drinking.
Mr. Lunchbox was not happy about being left behind and voiced his displeasure loudly, which in turn alerted the guards to the AWOL prisoner. Mr. Thermos clanked down the hallway and shouldered past the guard to freedom! He promptly called a couple of wealthy Thermos friends who in turn paid the bail bondsman, thus Mr. Lunchbox was "sprung" shortly thereafter.
The brazen duo vowed to stay home and quietly watch the ball drop on TV next year.