Sunday, January 24, 2010

An illuminating thought is a bright idea

Today, Mrs. Slug took her Mr. Slug to have a nice bowl of steaming won-ton soup from a local Chinese restaurant. At the end of the luncheon, two fortune cookies were served to the two satisfied diners, along with the check. Mr. Slug opened the package and split the crispy confection in half, revealing the small paper fortune inside the cookie. He looked at it with great interest - it seemed to speak directly to him! Mr. and Mrs. Slug raced home and began to finish one of Mr. Slugs pet projects. He has invented an "Auto-thinker instant response unit," a machine that most every slug will find useful when they cannot think of anything to say.  Let's suppose a fellow slug insults you, and you are unable to make that snappy comeback that would save your self respect and dignity. With Mr. Slugs new machine, you will never have a loss of words. The auto response will kick in and say the pefect thing!

Let's see how it could be useful to an everyday working slug:

Antagonist says, "Every time I pass by here, you're just sitting at your desk, staring into space. I think I better run over to management and let them know you are slacking in your duties."

Without the auto thinker response unit, you might just give the antangonist a blank look, thus fueling his ability to hurl further insult at you.

WITH the auto thinker response unit electrodes hooked up to the forehead of said sluggy victim, the scenario changes drastically. The insult would be quickly recorded and processed by the unit, and in less than 3 seconds, an intelligent and scathing remark will be returned to the antagonist, thus ending the volley of insults instantly.  "Space, my dear fellow, is the final frontier, and this will be your final day to enjoy my fine company if you don't respect my personal space and slide outta here this instant. That is my final word on the subject. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"  The antagonist slug will slink out of the room and find some other slug to bully.

With this new fabulous invention, Mr. Slug can help the the intelligent yet shy working slug to climb that company ladder to success! Bravo, Mr. Slug!


witchmonkey said...

speaking of glowing slugs, are solar powered slugs the way of the future? check out this article on the Elysia chlorotica.

keep up the good work, barbara--the people have a right to know the truth!

witchmonkey said...

whoops--here's the link!

Grandma L said...

I just looked at Witchmonkey sea slug. I have to admit their slug is somewhat more advanced than your slug. It's solar powered and lives off the sun. Is your Mr. Slug solar powered?

witchmonkey said...

another great alternative power source is this brain slug cupcake:

Mista Jaycee said...

Amazing invention but the power is too great to be released. Must confiscate and store in Warehouse 13. Might say something you mean but ultimately regret! Wait! Do that already!

Need invention to help other slugs keep safety on mouth! Muzzle Tongue!

babbler said...

MISTA JAYCEE: Please refer to Mr. Slug's newest invention, the Slug Muzzle, in stores now! Your intuition and attention to detail will insure your great success, Sir! Would you like to buy some shares in the stock? You have a talent for the invention market! Thank you for your excellent comment!

WITCHMONKEY: Thanks for the links to my friends Mr. Glowslug and Mr. Brainslug Cuppycake, two very enjoyable visits were made to those sites. You must be an extremely intelligent and good looking slider indeed!

GRANDMA L: Yes, the solar powered slug is much more intricate than we ordinary ground slugs. Mr. Slug is not solar powered, but he can find someone who is and employ them, making him a very bright slug! Thanks for coming to slug's rest, we look forward to your return ASAP!