Friday, February 26, 2010

"Yo." Too cool for school is always the rule. You dig? Peace out.

When Mr. Slug arrived in LA, he realized that his style looked a little too "Oregonian." He promptly went to Venice Beach to improve his wardrobe. He slid in and out of every shop, trying on the newest flat brimmed baseball caps and modeling sunglasses for his lovely wife until she exclaimed, "Yep, those are the fly sunglasses for you, my dear homey-love."  Mr. Slug caught a glimpse of his new look in the reflection of the shop windows. Mr. Slug was impressed with how much a simple pair of sunglasses and a hat can change how other slugs see you. "This could be a good look for my entire sales team," thought he, so he raced back to Venice Beach and bought a case of sunglasses and hats to send back to Oregon in the US mail.  I wonder how Mr. Lunchbox and Mr. Canopener will react to this new and fashionable turn of events? Stay tuned and find out!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Red eye flights are only good if you want a floppy tail afterward

The slugs decided that a trip to Los Angeles was in order, so they rounded up some boarding passes from the slugs favorite local airline, Horizon Air, a partner with the fabulous Alaska Airlines, proudly serving slugs living in the great Northwest territories.
They were sliding down the concourse to the plane when they heard an announcement over the intercom. "Paging Mr. Slug. Will Mr. Slug please pick up one of the white courtesy telephones." Mr. Slug located a white telephone and heard that he was about to miss the final boarding call for flight 8211 to Burbank Airport. All of the slugs in his party quickly made haste to the gate and left three slimy slug trails down the isle to their seats. They all made sure that seatbelts were securely fastened and that all carryon items were safely stowed in the overhead bins, or at their tails under the seat in front of them.  WHIRRRRR! The engines roared to life, the plane taxied down to the runway and WHOOSH! They were off in the air, a flock of flying slugs! One of the slugs was scared when the landing gear made a rattle as it locked in to flight position. Once the plane leveled off, the drinks cart came down the aisle CLANKETY CLANK CLANK. Mr. Slug had coffee and the other slugs enjoyed a festive adult libation at no extra charge. This greatly pleased the slugs and one of them went to sleep immediately while the other two enjoyed the in-flight Alaska Air magazine crossword puzzle, which they were unable to solve because it was very difficult. Stay tuned for more of the exciting flight!  

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Take off your lampshade when you dance or you might get arrested!

     It is all well and good that a hard working sales team can go out in public after a long day of negotiating and have an adult libation with dinner, but the libations should end withing a reasonable time after the dinner is eaten, if the celebrating takes place on a worknight.
     Mr. Canopener received a call from his friends, a single, nervous sounding telephone call from a noisy payphone in the holding tank of the County Jail where the two scofflaws, Messrs. Lunchbox and his party cohort Mr. Thermos were lodged for the evening. Here is what Mr. Canopener learned from the call: They apparently went out after a successful day of work. Mr. Thermos got the signatures for a very large order of slug muzzles, went back to the hotel and promptly persuaded Mr. Lunchbox to "go out to a restaurant and celebrate." Mr. Lunchbox was pleased as punch that his protege had landed the account all by himself. "I shant deny you your moment of glory," said he, and they marched across the street to the local tavern and took two seats at the well worn bar. "I'll take three drinks, two for my friend and a double for me."
     About two hours later, Mr. Lunchbox was dancing with a broom and Mr. Thermos was wearing a lampshade on his head with his tie wrapped around the top. The barkeep called the cops after Mr. Thermos hopped up onto the bar and started to twirl about in a wild and dangerous fashion. He lost his screw-on cap when he slipped on the olive tray, sending the now loosened cap hurtling through the air and out the door of the establishment, landing right in the backseat of the cop car, where the rest of him ended up alongside the whimpering and apologetic Mr. Lunchbox who pleaded pitifully for freedom, but to no avail. They were caught, red handled!
When Mr. Slug got the news from Mr. Canopener, he was rightly annoyed, but sympathetic as well. His two finest sales associates had been blowing off some steam, and at least they had only hopped across the street from the hotel and had not attempted to drive anywhere, much to their credit. They had, however, embarrassed themselves on a business trip, and for this they must be reprimanded. This is not the first occasion they have seen trouble! Remember what happened on New Years Eve! Mr. Slug has decided that he shall accompany the team on the next sales trip, and the only kind of celebrating they will do after landing a new account will be a nice game of Scrabble in the lobby of the hotel, and a cup of hot tea before bedtime! No lampshades were harmed in the filming of this movie.