Tuesday, March 30, 2010

An electrifying tale of big business - be careful what you say to competitors!

If you do not know the name of the individual you are speaking with, do yourself a favor and do not even try to guess! You are most likely incorrect, thus you will risk irritating them to the point of personal injury to yourself, and to innocent byslugsters.
Mr. Slug is a very gentle, kind and proper slug, he rarely forgets a face. He makes a point to remember the names of his fellow businessslugs. He conducts himself with grace and charm, but sometimes he will trip over his own tail if he can't recall a name. 

         In this instance, Mr. Slug found himself in a dangerous position as he tried to guess the name of a rather intimidating executive that he met in the hallway of a large hotel where he was attending a convention. The executive was large and square-jawed, and his beady eye bore an invisible hole through everything it gazed upon.  Mr. Slug was clearly intimidated and nervous, as he thought he recognized the face, but could not draw the name from his memory. The only thing that Mr. Slug did wrong was ask the question..."Are you the infamous Mr. Clampy?" asked Mr. Slug.  The question was actually meant to impress, but it did the opposite thing. Mr. Slugs seemingly innocent question ruffled Mr. Car Battery Cable to the point of violence! He got all charged up when he heard the name of his rival competitor Mr. Clampy and chased Mr. Slug down the hall with his cord whipping wildly! Mr. Slug took off like a shot and was able to get a few paces ahead of the well dressed suit. Mr. Slug slid briskly around the next corner, and as luck would have it, straight into the open door of an elevator! Seeing his only chance for escape, Mr. Slug pushed the "close door" button as quickly as he could. Just as the doors were closing, Mr. Car Battery Cable stuck his snakelike head through the opening and grabbed Mr. Slug by the tail! Mr. Slug was able to free himself by releasing a large amount of slug slime from his belly, giving the imposing Mr. Cable the slip! The elevator doors closed! Mr. Slug was free and unhurt! Mr. Slug enjoyed the soothing saxophone sounds of the jazz elevator music on his way down to the conference rooms located in the basement of the skyscraper where his business meeting was about to begin! Before speaking to the large group of professional and well dressed attendees, he enjoyed a relaxing festive beverage and several nibbles of salad.  After lunch, Mr. Slug stepped into the Men's room and made sure there were no bits of spinach on his rasp, straightened his tie and composed himself before sliding onto the podium to address the eager crowd of executives. He tapped the microphone lightly with his tail to see if it was working and cleared his throat before he began.  A hush of silence fell about the room and he took a deep breath before he said,  "A funny thing happened to me on the way here...." He did not mention any names while telling his story for fear of retaliation - just in case Mr. Cable happened to be present at the meeting.  The moral of the story:  "When in doubt, don't blurt it out."

6 comments:

Jo said...

Omigoodness, I love Mr. Slug...!

And I have been in the very same situation. Many times.

You have a FUN blog. :-)

DCW said...

Empathy sliding his way . . . I have a terrible memory for names.

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

hahameow! The Firesign Theater had a funny skit about how to remember peoples names... Say you meet someone named Dorothy Snowdon. Picture Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz with a pile of snow on her head. The next time you see her, I don't care if it's ten years from now, you can walk right up to her and say, "Good to see you, Toto Slushhead!"

Owen said...

Ah, the strange and wonderful adventures that befall travellers in the world of slugs... one never tires of learning the latest slippery news here...

How fortunate the battery cable didn't short-circuit the elevator doors and then prise them open again... Being trapped in an elevator, with one's tail to the wall, so to speak, would have been a terrible predicament. But as in the old game of paper, scissors, rock, I'm sure slug slime could overcome a battery cable any day. But let's hope he never has to find out in the field... but maybe an electricity-proof vest might be a good idea for a while, just in case Mr Clampy-not may be waiting for Mr Slug in an underground parking garage somewhere... furious at his failure to grasp the slug tail...

Many happy returns of the weekend to all of you in Slug's Rest...
:-)

Lib said...

Poor Mr. slug!
Hope you have a great wk.
Blessins',Lib

Patty said...

Yikes poor Mr. Slug! I'll definitely remember this lesson ;)