Monday, March 15, 2010

Sell, Sell, SELL!!!!! And don't stop! You guys look GREAT! You are a selling MACHINE!!!

What a weekend it was for Mr. Slug! He found himself busy working for much of Saturday and Sunday and arrived at the office very early this morning with a host of new accounts to process.
It seems as though business has been picking up all around the town this week, so Mr. Slug decided to call an impromptu mandatory meeting for all of his employees.  He phoned every member of his department before the sun came up and told them that he has something of great import to discuss with each of them before the start of the business week.  The team of sales slugs arrived on time and eager to hear what Mr. Slug had to say. The sales team was rewarded for being on time with a sumptous breakfast of spinach leaves and freshly brewed green tea or guava juice, which was well received by all slugs present.
An audible groan was heard as a box of tail protectors were opened and removed from the bubble wrap that the product was shipped in. Being a silly bunch of slugs, the team had fun popping the bubble wrap as they fitted their tails with the brand new tail protectors, which smelled a little "plasticky," from the off-gassing that you often get from factory-fresh oil based products.
Another large box was placed upon the boardroom table and out came a dozen pairs of new safety glasses, each with a special noseless bridge, modified especially for the anatomy of the common working mollusk. They came in four fun color choices: "Roasted Sienna," "Eggplant," "Chartruese," and "Golderod Summer."
The slugs dove into the box and each chose a pair that suited their mantle-tone.
Mr. Slug cleared his throat and the room quieted down very quickly. "First of all, I would like to thank you all for showing up on time with your name badges on.  Please wear your safety equipment at all times while you are representing this firm, as we would like to show the buying public that we are a safety minded business. This new equipment will help to protect you when driving the company fleet vehicles. We have recently purchased four new Prius sedans for your sales appointments. Please be careful while driving them and be sure to jump or slide out the window if the vehicle appears to speed up all by itself without any provocation. We were able to obtain the vehicles at an excellent price! We like the "green" message they send to our customers, although we do realize that our sales team will need to take an extra measure of precaution to enjoy the benefits of the savings in fuel costs to our company. You may all be dismissed, now go out there and sell something! Go Team Sluggy!" 

6 comments:

Snowbrush said...

If I were a slug, I should want to go about in a military style tank.

Owen said...

It is good to see that safety is taken seriously here... if slugs don't act responsibly, then who will ? ? ?

Grandma L said...

The Head slug can rest assured that in case the Prius sedans do take off like rockets, his underlings will be well protected with the safty glasses and tail protectors. That was a good business move.

tam said...

It is hard to pass a good bargain up-just remember to turn the ignition off if the green automobile runs wild and out of control!!!
I always wanted to see my favorite slugs on a Vespa Scooter ;) with a happy lil woven basket on the front for take alongs. (of course it would also be equipped with the latest music player as well) Slugs are not only known for safety and good driving, but style and sophistication...

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

I am sure you have an answer to this question...
How many slugs does it take to stop a Prius?

Owen said...

Hope all is well with Mr & Mrs Slug... it's been mighty quiet at Slug's Rest...

Happy Sliding Trails to you, wherever you may be...
:-)