Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I was walking in the park one day..............

The flowers are blooming and love is in the air. Mr. Slug was happily sliding through the park on a lovely spring day and happened upon a lump of silken fabric lying in the bright green grass. He innocently picked it up and noticed the wonderfully sweet scent. It smelled like a mix of gardenias with a hint of rose. Just then, a very jealous and angry slug approached Mr. Slug and demanded to know where he had gotten the beautiful handkerchief. Mr. Slug was taken aback by the question. Another slug entered the area, wearing an Ensigns uniform and wielding a shiny long sword. Without knowing it, Mr. Slug had slid into an open air theater where a performance of the Tragedy of Othello was being acted out. Mr. Slug was in much danger of getting his tail lopped off by a very convincing actor who did not realize that Mr. Slug is NOT the stunt double of the Captain, who, in that particularly tragic scene, fought against the Ensign valiantly but ended up losing a hefty portion of his tail in the famous play by Slugspere. It was a very tense moment for both the audience, and especially Mr. Slug.
Mrs. Slug, in the meantime, had slid across the street to buy an ice cream and did not know the peril that her husband was in. She took a seat in the audience and began to hiss with the other theater goers as the antagonist began to thrust his sword at the tail of the hapless Captain, who was now being played by a very frightened and somewhat confused Mr. Slug. When Mrs. Slug realized that her beloved Captain was being attacked by the cruel and remorseless Ensign, she jumped up and said, "Zounds! Lay down thine scabbord and slide thine away! Leaveth mine husband alone!" The crowd loved this new twist, they hooted and yelled and went wild as Mrs. Slug entered the stage and proceeded to take hold of her husbands tail with her rasp. She swung him round and round, faster and faster, like a discus thrower. Once he reached maximum flight velocity, she let him go and he flew above the startled audience like a missile, his eyes wide with surprise and gladness, for he was now out of danger. He made a wide arc above the theater and came to rest on a red and white checkered blanket in the nosebleed section way in the back of the amphitheater on the grass where a sophisticated looking group of well-to-do slugs were watching the play and dining on a feast of basil leaves and champagne. One of them remarked, "Good show, old chap!" and went on munching on his leaf like nothing had happened. "Care for a nibble, Sir?" said another. The now proud actor brushed the dirt from his person, composed himeself and smiled broadly.  "May my wife join us?" beamed Mr. Slug. "Your wife?" asked the slug with a flick of the tail and a heavy english accent, "Was that lovely creature your wife? Why, she is the greatest Slugsperean actress of all time!Your wife may join us only if she promises to give us her autograph!" Mr. Slug agreed to be the husband of a celebrity and they dined upon the fancy greens heartily throughout the remainder of the performance. You may ask, "What this tale of tails was all about?" Well, I am not sure myself. I just know that springtime is a good time to go to a live performance, ANY live performance, as I am quite sure there is bound to be one where you may purchase tickets, somewhere near you.

P.S. - Speaking of great acting roles, some of you may remember part of the wise and powerful Yogurt, who starred in the best Mel Brooks movie ever made, which, in Mr. Slug's opinion was Spaceballs. That funny little gold painted man pointed out that, "Even plain yogurt has a little culture."

4 comments:

nerines said...

That's so funny and really sweet that you create those napkin stories for Mr.Slug. I'll follow for more :-)

Owen said...

Oh my, you speared me right in the heart with your slugspearian dramatics here, and the sight of Mr Slug flying through the air couldn't help but bring back memories from another fine English author, though more recent, perhaps you've seen the film of Mathilda, by Roald Dahl, and had that somewhere in mind ??? How lovely you could get out to the slippery Slugspearean theatre for a mid-slugger's night dream ! I wonder was it Othello you saw ? Or Macslug ? Sluglet ? Much Ado About Slugging ? And how fortunate in any case that you could save Mr Slug's tail in the bargain... As for yogurts having culture, I think I'll go off in a corner and groan quietly without disturbing anyone. So do slugs like yogurt ? I wonder...

PS and my WV is, believe it or not, "slidetch", if a sketch is a short play, then a "slidetch" is a short slug play... or perhaps a catchy slug dancing step... you slidetch to the right, then you slidetch to the left, then you slide your partner right around...

Ah yes, I'd like to see some slug square dancing, or slime dancing, or whatever you do...

Sashindoubutsu said...

Hahahaha! Another fascinating story.^^

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

Haha...another slippery story that made me laugh. Spaceballs was funny! and is Young Frankenstein...Roll Roll Roll in the Hay...well, that wouldn't be too fun for a slug!

Thought you would get a slick kick out of these:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/44840384/glass-slug-paperweight