Sunday, June 13, 2010

A "Rutebega Awakening" or, "Burp me you fool" - it's your choice!

It had been a terrific vacation but now it was time for Mr. Slug to put on his tie and go back to work. He had become spoiled on his cruise to the Bahamas, and found that it was hard to get back into the swing of waking up early for the daily battle.  Mr Slug had become accustomed to sliding out of his stateroom, along the banister to the Lido Deck and straight to the salad bar, which was open all hours of the day and night for the guests enjoyment. "Ahhh, this is the life," thought Mr. Slug, as he made the most of his six days at sea. Mr. Slug enjoyed golfing, swimming and playing Baccarat in the ship casino. When it came time to disembark the ship, Mr. Slug found himself sliding very slowly and reluctantly down the gangway and back to his life as a working slug. Mr. Slug was now tanned and fit after his week of luxury! "Things are gonna change at work," thought Mr. Slug to himself. "All we have to eat at the office is soda and candy out of the machine. I think I will call a meeting to address this very serious situation."  When Mr. Slug returned to the office on Monday morning, he sent summons to his top producing slimers that a meeting would be called to order immediately. The group of executive slugs met each other in the hallway, next to the food machine. The execs looked at Mr. Slug curiously, as he had never called a meeting outside of the closed doors of the executive slugroom. Mr. Slug said, "I have called you here today for a very serious threat to our productivity, this junkfood machine that spits out foods that slow us down and make us sleepy." Mr. Slug handed out a photo of a juicy looking rutebega to drive the point home. He began, " A slug is naturally tuned to eating large amounts of healthy greens all day long. The work day does not always allow for healthy choices on the slide. Just say no to heavily salted snack foods, they will shrivel a nice soft belly and decrease your overall productivity. For this reason, I have ordered the snack vending company to change our order to only the most succulent greens and tasty fruits and vegetables. I believe we will see an increase in our sales numbers almost immediately, which should help to defray the higher costs of the contents of this snack machine. All slugs in agreement will say Aye."  Mr. Slug waited for a moment and was pleased with the overwhelming number of  "Aye's"  from his fellow businessslugs. Mr. Slug continued, "Think of what we can do, my fellow slugs, if all of our meetings start with a hearty meal? Gentleslugs, we have lot's of work to do now that I am back, and as far as I am concerned, it's officially CRUNCH TIME! Quick! Call the Chamber of Commerce! Let's let the entire business community know that this company has officially GONE GREEN!" A great amount of whooping and hollering could be heard throughout the halls that fine Monday morning, and the slugs were more productive, due to the new produce. More lettuce for everybody!!!! Wooohooo!!

5 comments:

Lorrene said...

And then when Mr. Sluglettuce woke up, what happened?

Jesson And Rey Ann said...

nice one,,,

Owen said...

My goodness, I don't know how I missed this one, but it slipped in and then slid down the blog list until it was out of my view, until this very second... I am mentally kicking myself in the backtailside...

Wow, that Mr. Slug certainly sees the "produce" in "productivity" ! An excellent plan. The entire US of A should empty the sugary and salty snacks out of every last vending machine and replace them with carrot sticks, celery sticks, cherry tomatoes, and tasty radishes, as well as every combination of lettuce greens, dandelion leaves, spinach, and broccoli imaginable... Mr Slug has the solution right there for reversing the terrible trend which has fallen upon America, causing the greatest wave of obesity ever seen in the history of mankind. It seems so obvious... I mean, when has anyone ever seen an obese slug ??? The answer is never, because there are none, because slugs are intelligent and they only eat what they were meant to eat... lots of greens and no potato chips with cola drinks...

My resounding congratulations to Mr Slug for his courage in the workplace, and may his marvellous ideas spread as fast as slug slime can travel...
:-)

Jesson And Rey Ann said...

a nice story!!!

babbler said...

Lorrene: When Mr. Sluglettuce woke up, he made himself some green tea and had a nibble of breakfast, of course! Thanks for your comment.

Jesson and Rey Ann: Nice one, back atcha!

Owen: I am so glad you could join the meeting in the hallway, we are delighted with our new produce in the machines! It has caught on like wildfire, and now we are seeing an increase in produce production across the board! And yes, I have seen an obese slug, they get very wide around the middle when fully fed, but it is normal for a slug to have this kind of shape and therefore our insurance payment is not increased with every belt notch added to our girth.

Thanks Owen, for your intelligent and fruitful comment! The Mister S and I always enjoy seeing that you have slid over for carot nibble!

Jesson and Rey ann, it looks like I must slide over for a visit to your neck of the woods!