Friday, August 27, 2010

Fish travel in schools, slugs travel in style!

Hey you slugs! Put on that sliding plate and grab your books! It's time to get ready to go back to school! In our last episode, Mr. Slug struggled with a particularly difficult math question. Much to Mr. Slug's surprise, many of you answered the math question correctly. Bravo to the victors!  Mr. Slug would like to reward you with a ride to your next class on the big yellow schoolbus of knowledge. Please keep your mantles and tails inside the bus at all times.

Oh Goody! Today we have a particularly fast school bus driver, which may change the time of arrival to class. If the driver is very fast, we might even have time to nibble on some leaves before homeroom. Therefore, you will need to know the answer to the following math question:

How much time would you save by careening wildly around every corner for 100 miles at a sliding speed of 65 m.p.h rather than a more sane sliding speed of (...cue the music..."I can't slide") 55 m.p.h.?

I know there are some brilliant slugs out there who have already broken out the slide rule and calculator and are feverishly throwing down your comments and tapping on the desk waiting for the rest of the class to put down our pencils so you can wave your tentacles to get the teachers attention and be the first smarty slug to give us the answer. But wait, there's MORE!

How much further would you get if you got a wild hair up your mantle and jumped in the drivers seat, much to the surprise of your fellow classmate slugs who by now are squealing with delight, and hijacked the school bus, driving for 30 minutes at 65 M.P.H. rather than 55 m.p.h.?

Please record your answers in the comments section as you are now accustomed to doing. Please don't dilly dally, we have alot of road to cover!


Owen said...

Oh dearest of Slugs !

A slippery little whisper slipped in my ear and told me to slide on over here, and what do I find ? An enigma worthy of the most clever slugs imaginable, no doubt only those slugs who wear mantles bearing the colors of schools like Harvard Lettuce Yard, or Oxford Cabbage Patch, or Slippery Rock State will be able to solve this riddle of epic proportions. But I think the answers to the two pronged question are in fact simple...

In fact, one might think that one would save time by driving at 65 mph, but in fact, one would not, because one would quickly be pulled over to the roadside, and have to show one's drivers licence and registration to the slug police, who are not nice characters, and who may take many long minutes to examine the aforementioned documents... thus erasing any time gained by driving too fast.

And as to how much further one would go, why, the answer is obvious, one would go no further, and in fact, one would take a side trip straight to the local drunk tank, because if a slug was caught driving at 65 mph, there must have been some imbibing of broccoli leaf liqueur involved, which is always a bad thing for slugs to partake of, for it makes them reckless...

Am I right ?

However, if the speed limit in the state in question was in fact 75 mph, and one would not be pulled over for driving at 65 mph, then the time save by driving at 65 for an hour instead of 55, is approximately 17.4 minutes...

And by driving at 65 instead of 55 for half an hour, one would slide 5 miles further I believe, though I'm probably missing some aggravating circumstance that might influence those results...

May your tails be shiny and your optical tenticles see nothing but green expanses of lettuce leaves...

babbler said...

You are almost right! You are almost right! Not only are you the only pupil who got this question almost right, you are also the only pupil who has bothered to show up to class thus far, which leads me to believe that this morning's bus has been hijacked by a band of rogue slugs carrying backpacks!

Your calculations look to be almost spot on! Mr. Slug estimated the answer to be around 18 minutes for the first part of the question, but was pleased to see that you have employed your slide rule to get a more exacting figure. On the second half of the question, you are exactly right, the answer is 5 miles. You are a smarty slug.

Both of you are close, however, I cannot give full credit for either of your answers for the first question as they are both incorrect. I will not reveal the answer until more slugs show up to class to take the test. Here is a clue to help you:

t = d/r

55 m.p.h. = 100/55 = 20/11
65 m.p.h. = 100/65 = 20/13

then to calculate the second part of the question (which you got an A),

d = r x t = 5 miles*

*Due to the amount of Boones Farm Slugberry Hill that may have been imbibed, the speeds traveled during the last half of the adventure might have been recklessly fast as the slugs were likely sliding without a license, without wearing slugbelts.

Dear Sir, should these slugs actually arrive to class, take the appropriate tests and pass with an acceptable grade, there might be a graduation ceremony planned for next spring. If this miracle of caps and gowns should occur, you Sir, shall be invited to speak at the commencement!

Owen said...

It would be the greatest of honors to come and speak at a slug commencement day, where no doubt one would have to wear special anti-slime strong traction shoes in order to retain one's footing while negotiating the heavily slimed ailes in the convention hall... But to see the finest of the slug world being recognised for higher education would be a fine privilege indeed...

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

This is awesome! Plus, now I know where to go whenever I have a slug anatomy question.

LOL! --> "a wild hair up your mantle"

Snowbrush said...

More to the point, perhaps, my dearest Mrs. Slug, why are there so many slugs under buses and so few on buses? Can they not afford buses? Will they only ride when another slug is driving, and no slug has been able to pass the driving test? Are they all environmentalists? Or, perhaps, are they simply suicidal?

Jeanne said... Mr. Slug putting his homework problems up on the blog for us to compute?
Is he shirking his responsibilities as a student?
Or did he just misplace his slide rule?