Are you tired of the endless chatter of your fellow slugs? Do you wish that you had merely said nothing when asked a difficult question? Then gather round all you weary slugs! Mr. Slug has a new invention that will help to minimize sound pollution and add quality to your life! Keep your ears free to hear only the things you want to hear, while eliminating the incessant chatter of others. Wear one, and you won't have to say yes to time consuming volunteer activities. Not only that, you will be regarded as an intelligent and thoughtful slug who listens well. Give the slug muzzle to all your friends and enjoy a blissful day of solitude. Take a test drive in a new muzzle! Your complete satisfaction or your dollar will be returned. Order one today and you will receive a free gift with purchase, a new soft and fluffy tailsock to snuggle in while you enjoy your quiet nights at home with a library book. Listen to these testimonies given by slugs just like you: "I bought my first muzzle a week ago and now I am writing poetry and playing a harmonica every day." "I gave a muzzle to all my co-workers and now I can get my job jone in a timely manner. My boss gave me a raise!"
That's right friends, you can experience the benefits of your slug muzzle in just three easy payments of .37 cents, shipping and handling not included. Call now, and you can stop calling after it arrives! Hurry! Supplies are limited, but the words of other slugs are not!