Showing posts with label I wonder how long it takes stomach acid to break down a brick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I wonder how long it takes stomach acid to break down a brick. Show all posts

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Reading text while eating is like texting and driving....don't do it!!! Also, if you own an "icky blue pen," get rid of it!!!

Occaisionally, Mr. Slug will have a nibble while studying his school books. He tries to watch what goes in, but sometimes he gets so wrapped up in the subject that he will find he has literally mowed a path through the garden without even stopping to see what he has eaten. Today was one of those perfect days, bright sun, light breeze and the scent of spring flowers in the air. It was a perfect day to study outside, so a rolling cart was prepared for his rather hefty text, and a napkin was tied neatly about the chin.  This method of eating and reading simultaneously works very well for slugs, as they can slide effortlessly as they nibble, absorbing fantastic amounts of knowledge in to the brain as it receives much needed nourishment along the way.  Unfortunately, Mr. Slug was not watching where he was going. He began to pick up some speed down a hill, but was so distracted by his book that he did not notice the loose bricks laying on the ground.  Suddenly, Mr. Slug felt a very heavy sensation in his belly! He had a very difficult time turning himself around and dragging his heavy schoolbook back up the hill. Lucky for Mr. Slug, the lawnmower was sitting at the edge of the yard, so he fired it up and drove himself to the slugspital, where he received quality treatment and a lecture from the good doctor on the dangers of reading while eating.!! Thank you for not being as thick as a brick.

Special rare slug alert: ***For those of you slug historians who are interested, this undated "blue ink on Brawny" napkin is another one of those rare documents that was lost for a time in the glove box of Mr. Slugs ancient Slugburban 8 cylinder sliding vehicle. It is a brown vehicular conveyance which was the daily slider for Mr. Slug to get to work for many years. He cleaned out all of the trash one day and found a large handful of rare and quite valuable slug napkins, some of which were water damaged and blurry due to the delicate blue ink which they were drawn with. Once it was determined that a pen like that is death to a slug napkin, it was no longer employed. The napkin you see here is one of the best preserved of the napkins of this vintage, so enjoy it and savor it for there are not too many of these "icky blue pen" slug napkins left in the entire world.