Flip me like a pancake

Even a cattle prod to the belly won't wake Mr. Slug today, his wife kept him up all night by making him play with the bedside laptop computer. Mr. Slug says that he needs to rearrange his sleeping schedule, as it is causing him to have strange dreams. I think it is time that we invest in one of those alarm clocks that makes the relaxing sounds of the ocean and birdies and other soothing settings........Mr. Slug says that he needs his Mrs. Slug to simply get to bed earlier.... Mrs. Slug says that he is probably right. Why? Because he is Mr. Slug, that's why! He is the head of the house. When Mr. Slug says, "Now brush your rasp and get to bed!" Mrs. Slug says, Righty-o Professor!"

A good time begins with being on time!

Mr. Slug likes to get to every destination safely and promptly. He says being on time makes him feel more confident and professional. Mr. Slug decided that he would invent a machine that will help even the tardiest slug slide to every appointment on time and in a chipper mood. A machine like this could change the way we do business with our fellow slugs, don't you think?

Plump full of juicy goodness!

As everyone knows, a high water content is recommended for good health and well-being. Mr. Slug likes to give back to his community by inviting his friends to check out his newest invention, "The Slug-O-Meter Water Content Device." Ads were run on the local radio. There was excitement in the air! The line of eager slugs snaked all the way around the block. This situation caused a bit of grumbling, particularly from slugs who have not been taking care of themselves, hence, they were improperly hydrated! If you find yourself irritable and snappy today, come on over to Slug's Rest and get your water content checked! Mr. Slug says, "You'll be glad you did!" (This ad paid for by the Federation of Highly Hydrated Slugs)

The importance of proper training!

Lately, Mr. Slug has busied himself with the maintenance and cleaning of all vehicular conveyances before embarking on his next adventure. Mr. Slug says, "A clean choo-choo is a happy choo-choo." The moral of this story is to keep your cow guard clean, and keep an eye on the tracks!

Go West, young slug!

Ahh, the romance of the great outdoors! You can see the tumbleweed rolling by, smell the sweet desert flowers begin to bloom and hear the crush of rocks under the wheels of the stagecoach as we make new tracks toward a new frontier. Good thing the new frontier has plenty of rest stops!

I like big trucks and I cannot lie.........

Since Mr. Slug moved from the big city to a small town in Oregon, he has taken on a whole new set of interests and hobbies. Yes, it is true, Mr. Slug adores disco music, but lately, the radio in his big ol' four wheel drive Suburban has been tuned to the very finest pickin' and grinnin' music a slug has ever danced the one-step to!

Charging by the smile

Mr. Slug is feeling so perky and alive today, thanks to the quick thinking of his beloved wife who insisted that he do something about his sluggishness, which is natural to most slugs. Ahh, the miracle of modern technology! After this appointment, Mr. Slug will be getting a belly wax, a tail scrub and possibly a new shoe if there is anything left in the checkbook!

"Give me automatic deposit on the paycheck, please."

A slug, to be happy, must do what a slug does best. Optimum utilization of the tail is the key to a rewarding career. A surplus of goo under the belly doesn't hurt, either.

A biting commentary from the wife

Mr. Slug enjoys the finer things in life. He feels that an individual should spare no expense when it comes to creature comfort. He also believes that if you can achieve that comfort through the latest in technological advances, an intelligent individual owes it to himself to purchase said technological advancement, take it out of the box, recycle all styrofoam packing, and commence to apply that fabulous technology to any sore spots that may be present on the neck of said individual for the amount of time deemed necessary to alleviate said irritation.

Let's swing in the New Year, shall we?

Everything was ready for the special New Years evening out - the dinner jacket was cleaned and pressed, the tickets for the jazz concert and dance were purchased, the hotel reservations were confirmed, the entire plan was executed flawlessly, except for one item that did not get packed into the overnight bag. Can you guess what that one essential item might have been?

Time is on your side, strapped to your ribs

Mrs. Slug asked, "What are we going to wear to the New Years party?" Naturally, we all like to look our best, don't we? Mr. Slug looked his wife in the eye and said, "I'll need my dinner jacket and tuxedo shirt to go to the cleaners at once!" The garments were delivered immediately. The rush order will be ready to pick up at exactly 4:30pm on Dec. 31, 2008. Mr. Slug says, "There is no time to waste!!! Slide! SSSSLIDE!!! Dammit, Slug, slide toward the New Year! Be quick about it! Wheeeee!!!"

Chock full of well rested slugs at Slug's Rest

As we pull in to platform number 2009 at the railway station of life, the royal inhabitants whom reside at Slug's Rest are reminded, "It is the little things that make every day more exciting and fun." Indeed. I dare say. Mr. and Mrs. Slug had quite a number of invited, and, uninvited guests to the estate this past month. All were welcome and treated like family! Even the wildlife knows where to find the premium label treats! Just for the record............Alcohol was not served to the forest animals at any time during their visit. You may, however, find an erratic slug trail or two on the grounds if you look closely enough.

Eight arms make for light work, as well as a tasty dinner!

Although it has been somewhat chilly of late, we have been blessed to have some decent rainy weather here at the coast while other parts of the country remain in either a deep freeze or getting severe weather alerts from the convergence of the warm and cold fronts hitting each other. Thank goodness for the little things....Santa has come and gone safely. Everything was as it should be, so,....the carefree slugs decided to go out and see a movie. They originally slid out to see the new comedy starring actor Slim Scary called "Yes, Slug." Somehow they ended up seeing just the opposite! Mr. Slug insisted on an action flick. Mrs. Slug warned Mr. Slug that he might have nightmares if they go to see this particular movie. It is called, "Octogantua devours the swamp!" AAGGGHHHH! Scared ya, didn't I? Well, it certainly scared Mr. Slug! He drank three full mugs camomille tea to calm his jittery tail! O.K., maybe it was a LITTLE bit cold out there.

Santa must have had fun getting this down the chimney!

Mrs. Slug was delighted with her Christmas gift, as Mr. Slug suspected that she would be. The only trouble with it was that I think Mr. Slug would have preferred to relax inside the house on Christmas day, whereas Mrs. Slug was ready to RIDE!!

Why is everything closed today? I have needs!

When Mr. Slug asks someone a question, he does not expect to be toyed with, he just wants a simple answer to a simple question.

Those Christmas hats look Gooooo'ed!

As you can see, these Christmas slugs are prepared for you on the backside of the more expensive "Mistletoe print" napkins, and therefore, a rare collectors Christmas edition of the Slug Adventures archives, made especially for you! Yeah! ~Alright!~ Righteous! You might even get some money for it at a pawn shop, once they open again.

There's mistletoe afoot! Kiss me quick!

Never trust young slugs to behave themselves when there is mistletoe around to cause trouble!

A tale of tandem tails that will soon hit the trails!

Christmas is here. The slugs are feverishly preparing for Santa's arrival. The cookies and milk have been placed in plain sight for Mr. Cringle. All gifts are wrapped and snuggled under the aluminum retro silver sparkly Christmas tree................except for one...........Mr. Slug has promised his beloved Mrs. Slug that he will set up her bicycle, get her a new bike shoe if she needs one, fit her with a shiny new bike helmet and train with her. Mr. Slug is not sure he will be able to wrap a present this large, so he spilled the beans and told her his plan..................she was absolutely delighted with the news! Can I get a "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!?"

Fresh is not just a state of mind!

Even though the stores are full of shoppers, they are not necessarily buying up everything in sight as they have in years past. You can cut a fine deal on the overstock, but you need to be willing to take it home a little shopworn. Here's a helpful holiday tip for you: Add a little moisture to those slugs and they will be perfectly servicable!

Gift wrapped for your enjoyment

There's nothing better than a box of fresh workers to help get the house ready for the holidays!

Keep that stiff upper lip in a fixed smile!

Mr. Slug is constantly on the lookout for a rewarding new career working with like minded fellows who enjoy getting things done.

It's beginning to look alot like Slugs Rest

It may be bitter cold, but the sun was high in the sky today, helping to slowly thaw the icy roads, thus helping the belly of a slug to slide freely and safely. No need for tire chains for these happy slugs! The weather forcast is for more rain, sleet and snow in the next few days, so I urge my fellow drivers to be careful while driving this week, and watch for cross country skiers, the occaisional diehard mountain bike rider, and packs of renegade sliding slugs.

Silvery sparkly slug trails mark the spot!

House guests are a normal part of the holiday season. There was, however, one member of the Slugs Rest household that was not terribly fond of our visitors all night antics! It seems that the common garden slug enjoys the flavor of Purina Cat Chow. Mr. Shiva the cat will stand next to his bowl and whine when they are present. We heard him meowing.......We went to see what was the matter......The evidence was clear! There were silvery trails of slug goo all over his bowl! Someone call the cops! Next time we will give the cat fair warning when we decide to throw a shindig.

A perfect landing

It is a good thing that Mr. Slug knows what to pack in his luggage when he goes on a business trip! The luggage will sometimes have an overweight charge added, but it is worth every penny to have what you need, when you need it. Mr. Slug says: "Personal comfort is of the utmost importance to me!"

I think I lost my shoe a mile or two back

Sometimes we high powered executives must do things that are uncomfortable, require travel and cause us to become cold and shivery. To that, I say, "Be brave young Slugs and Lunchboxes, you gotta do what you gotta do, then you shall celebrate victory!"