Tuesday, December 29, 2009

buying next years presents today keeps a slug financially fit

Just because December 25th has come and gone does not mean that the spirit of Christmas is over and done. Keep the spirit of Christmas alive even as you take down your sparkly aluminum tree that looks like a diamond when it is all lit up with all of the little colored lights you bought for $1.50 a box last year! Mr. Slug prides himself in being prudent and thoughtful with every business decision, even the ones involving the giving of gifts to his fellow slugs...not that he wants to be "cheap" in his giving; rather he likes to be a sensible business slug who can make a sluggy dollar stretch like a glob of goo. One of the best monetary moves you can make this season is the purchase of as many tail socks as you can find left on the shelves, which by now, are mostly picked clean of all of the good colors and patterns. Not to worry though, a slug looks great in most any type of tailsock! These tailsocks make a most thoughtful gift and is a unisex, one size fits all kind of purchase that can be pre-wrapped, one year in advance. Mrs. Slug helps Mr. Slug wrap the gifts in the wrapping paper received under this years tree, as they follow the "green slug movement," who actively reuse and recycle valuable material goods whenever possible. So, if you are one of the lucky slugs to receive a slightly crinkled and soft package under your tree soon after Thanksgiving 2010, you will know what it is and where it came from.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Feeling extra crispy? Let us add lettuce!

The holidays seem to wear out even the most stoic and hearty of slugs. During this busy time, one must keep oneself well hydrated and nourished! When it gets cold outside, a slug has very few options. He can either cover himself properly, or find himself quite frozen! In this example, Mr. Slug has both covered himself for warmth and has additionally provided himself with the fuel he needs to keep sliding smoothly through the holidays!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Mr. Slug increases his profit ten-fold, and looks good doing it!

Mr. Slug was so excited about his designer headwear, he decided to go public with it! Now his designs are seen sliding down the runways on the heads of the most sleek and successful slug models in the business! Mr. Slug says, "Any new venture takes a certain amount of risk. You will need a strong mantle, a short skirt and alot of optic nerve to succeed in the world of fashion slugs!" For this seasons look, Mr. Slug chose an "Oragami" theme that is both reversable, and edible! Bravo, Mr. Slug!

Friday, December 18, 2009

New hat needed? Try the supermarket!

You do not need to spend alot of hard earned cheddar in order to find cutting edge fashion! Cancel that flight to Paris and follow Mr. Slug to the most exciting haberdasher in town. Your local supermarket has everything you need to feel hip and fashion forward. Need a necklace to go with the ensemble? Glide on over to the vegetable section for a few fresh and flirty twist ties to complete your look. You are going to look so good, the manager will likely order you a personal escort out of the store and straight to your car!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Equal treatment for the flying rats!

Don't be too quick to judge someone by the way they look. Some of the hardest working executives have a rogue appearance to them. Perhaps they are wearing an earring or sport a rubbery looking set of wings and work the graveyard shift.
The least you can do is be kind and offer up a fresh moth or a stick of industrial bat food to your new friend. That bat could fly back to the cave and refer you to a large group of his batty relatives and your sluggy phone would start to ring off the hook with business inquiries.
Put this group of potential business slugmail contacts on your sonar and watch the slugdollars slide in!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

It's a good thing slugs don't have kneecaps!

When Mr. Lunchbox and Mr. Thermos went out of town on a business meeting, they enjoyed a layover in the exciting town of Las Vegas. Apparently, Mr. Thermos talked Mr. Lunchbox into going out on the town to have some dinner and a tail pull of a slot machine. They ate a sumptuous meal at the buffet table and were feeling pretty good about the entire arrangement. "This working vacation is the way to live!" A very beautiful waitress appeared and plied the two execs with a hefty amount of pickle juice. The two funsters proceeded to a row of slots and gave one a pull, betting the maximum amount of coins. "Woo hoo!!!" said the winners! They slid over to the Roulette Wheel and dropped the winnings on one single number. Mr. Thermos promptly lost the entire expense account. There was a rather tough looking Slug standing next to him that offered to "cover him for another spin of the wheel."
It was a decision that Mr. Thermos and Mr. Lunchbox are certain to regret! The tough looking Slug that is after Messrs. Lunchbox and Thermos goes by the name of Mr. Bubba. He chain smokes a bargain brand cigarette and wears a red bandana.
Mr. Slug told him that he "knew of no such foodservice executives and to please slide away and don't come back again or he would call the local gendarme."
The surly gentleman turned tail and we have not seen him since the incident.
After that, Mr. Slug called a meeting to ask his employees to refrain from nefarious activities when out on the road. As you can see, rules exist for a very good reason!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Sail through your sales meeting like a true professional lunchbox

For this particular subject, I would like you to first start humming the theme song to that classic movie starring Kenny Rogers called "The Gambler" made way back in the 1970's when business meetings were still held in places like Palm Springs and Reno Nevada. Here we go:

"Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to hop away, know when to run!"

This rule is especially true when discussing business with a complete stranger who you have met at one of these conventions. In this instance, Mr. Lunchbox has met a top end appliance out in the hall of the meeting room. Being a heavy hitter in the business, he will stick to topics that involve Tiger Woods, Lady GaGa and Global Warming.

Mr. Lunchbox says, "Do not discuss your company secrets with anybody, especially a slick looking washing machine with all of the latest technology! It is simply not safe!"

Instead, Mr. Lunchbox shall concentrate on giving the gentlewasher an invitation to visit him for a round of golf, being the skilled duffer that he is.

Mr. Lunchbox feels that this is much safer way to do business than a round of festive adult libations where he is likely to let his zipper become unlipped and say something he did not intend to share with the competition...

Here is your business tip for the day: A smart Mr. Lunchbox looks his competition in the eye as he speaks with enthusiasm on subjects of general interest, throws down the business card and hops away with purpose! Now THAT's what I call smooth SALE-ING!