Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Mrs. Slug, in the meantime, had slid across the street to buy an ice cream and did not know the peril that her husband was in. She took a seat in the audience and began to hiss with the other theater goers as the antagonist began to thrust his sword at the tail of the hapless Captain, who was now being played by a very frightened and somewhat confused Mr. Slug. When Mrs. Slug realized that her beloved Captain was being attacked by the cruel and remorseless Ensign, she jumped up and said, "Zounds! Lay down thine scabbord and slide thine away! Leaveth mine husband alone!" The crowd loved this new twist, they hooted and yelled and went wild as Mrs. Slug entered the stage and proceeded to take hold of her husbands tail with her rasp. She swung him round and round, faster and faster, like a discus thrower. Once he reached maximum flight velocity, she let him go and he flew above the startled audience like a missile, his eyes wide with surprise and gladness, for he was now out of danger. He made a wide arc above the theater and came to rest on a red and white checkered blanket in the nosebleed section way in the back of the amphitheater on the grass where a sophisticated looking group of well-to-do slugs were watching the play and dining on a feast of basil leaves and champagne. One of them remarked, "Good show, old chap!" and went on munching on his leaf like nothing had happened. "Care for a nibble, Sir?" said another. The now proud actor brushed the dirt from his person, composed himeself and smiled broadly. "May my wife join us?" beamed Mr. Slug. "Your wife?" asked the slug with a flick of the tail and a heavy english accent, "Was that lovely creature your wife? Why, she is the greatest Slugsperean actress of all time!Your wife may join us only if she promises to give us her autograph!" Mr. Slug agreed to be the husband of a celebrity and they dined upon the fancy greens heartily throughout the remainder of the performance. You may ask, "What this tale of tails was all about?" Well, I am not sure myself. I just know that springtime is a good time to go to a live performance, ANY live performance, as I am quite sure there is bound to be one where you may purchase tickets, somewhere near you.
P.S. - Speaking of great acting roles, some of you may remember part of the wise and powerful Yogurt, who starred in the best Mel Brooks movie ever made, which, in Mr. Slug's opinion was Spaceballs. That funny little gold painted man pointed out that, "Even plain yogurt has a little culture."