Monday, September 13, 2010

May Day! May Day! ...........Sometime today!

Mr. Slug has invented a new flying device! The "Bubble to Air Conversion Lifter" is worn snugly on the mantle and held on to with the foot.  A simple flick of the optical tentacle engages the ON switch and allows a slug to fly effortlessly through the air!

How does this thing work you ask? I will tell you, but be patient, it is highly technical jargon and you must pay close attention:

Flight is achieved by the use of a pressurized cylindrical vessel which contains a variety of volatile compounds: Ethyl ether, ethyl alcohol and water. The mollecular reaction of the volatile compounds takes place inside a very strong cylinder made entirely of aluminum foam, a material so light that it floats on water. It is, however, very strong stuff - the outer skins are layers of aluminum sheet and the inner layer a clever mix of titanium metal hydride and aluminum powder. These are baked to a silvery perfection until it rises, making it much lighter than the usual steel outer casing.

To this chemical cocktail, Mr. Slug adds just a pinch of slug slime which results in a highly pressurized bunch of slime bubbles inside the tube. As the bubbles pop, they explode in a process that resembles indigestion. This frightening, bubbling chemical melange has the ability to lift the wearer of the device right off the ground and into the air!

Join us now in the control room at Slug Propulsion Labs (SPL) in Pasadena, California as Mr. Slug prepares for launch! You can see him way up there, he's just a speck now, surrounded by a technical flight crew and members of the media. Mr. Slug will be projected from the launch pad at a trajectory set at a 75 degree angle pointing North/Northwest. Variable winds are blowing at a favorable 4 knots and all systems are GO!

"10... Launch has been delayed for the technicians to repair a goo ring................Countdown has resumed........."10....9...8...7...6....5....4...3..2...1.......Mr. Slug has pushed the bubble ignition switch with his optical tentacle!!!!!!!!!!!! The rocket is beginning to bubble furiously!!!

WE'VE GOT POP-OFF!!!!!!!!!!!
Back in the control room at SPL, some of the brightest minds in science are attempting to make Mr. Slugs historic first flight a successful one.

Mr. Slug is flying! He has done it! The control room erupts into a fury of high fives and applause! Suddenly, the sound of a crackling voice comes over the monitor. It is Mr. Slug trying to acheive radio contact with ground control.  "Mr. Slug to ground control. Please come in. May Day - May Day!" He sounds concerned.  The entire room goes quiet as Mr. Slug continues, "The flight is going fine, but I may have overlooked one small detail before launching....How do we turn this thing off so we can land??!" (Cue the music...Ground control to Major Slug...)

As this is an experimental vehicle, the SPL engineers are perplexed and need your help! Here is the problem we need to solve to get Mr. Slug safely back to Earth:

To neutralize a sour digester, one pound of slime is to be added for every pound of volatile acids in the digester sludge. If the digester contains 195,000 gal of sludge with a volatile acid (VA) level of 2100 mg/L, how many pounds of slime should be added?

If any of you slugs you know the answer to this question, please submit it to the lab immediately! Mr. Slug is depending on you for a smooth landing!! Hurry!!!

(Please note: This particular slug napkin is from the archived collection that was stored in the glove compartment of Mr.Slug's work vehicle for a few years. That car was recently cleaned out and this was one of the napkins found. For those of you who have followed Mr. Slugs adventures, this entry is a rare find, drawn before I began to write the date on the napkin in the lower left hand corner. The initails "BB" stand for Bun Bun, our beloved pet rabbit who used to live in the kitchen. She was very smart and knew how to toss her little toy back to you if you threw it to her. She was present for every peanut butter and jelly sandwich that went into Mr. Slug's lunch. This one's for you Bunski!)


K9friend said...

Too much technical jargon for a non-slug to handle. I hope you all figure it out, though. Eternal orbit may not be the most pleasant life!


Nick said...

Interesting blog.
Gee, I hope Mr. Slug never meets Mr. Salty. It would not be pleasant.

notmassproduced said...

thanks for leading me to your sluggy blog. what fun you have here :o)

Toyin O. said...

Great post.

Snowbrush said...

"Mr. Snowbrush, I am delighted to report that you are #100 on Adventures of Mr. Slug and Friends."

Why thank you so much for pointing this out, Mrs. Slug. I never win anything, and here I've won jury duty and your 100th follower award in just three days.

"You should try hitting some drums from time to time, you may find solace in music..."

That's all very well and good, I'm sure, but the neighbors might not find it so solaceful. Besides, the last person who recommended that I take up a musical instrument is dead. Of course, he played the guitar and died of cancer, so there's no obvious connection, yet I can't completely rule out a non-obvious connection.

"Congrats for being my #100 milestone! That should improve things for you in one way or another, yes?"

If not in EVERY way, my dear Mrs. Slug. By the way, I recommended that someone who responded to another blog today visit your blog. I did this because she likes slugs.

Owen said...

Dear Mrs Slug,
I'm so terribly late getting here, it's not even funny... but better late than never, and I see you've been waiting for me before getting into the further adventures of Mr Slug's flying days... So did he get down safely ? Was the overly efervescent slug fuel finally neutralized ? Sounds like me after a serving of beans !

A wild ride no doubt, and can't wait to see where you slugs will be sliding to next. I'm sorry my travels couldn't take me all the way out to Slug Rest, maybe next time... Slide thee well...

babbler said...

Owen, yes, Mr. Slug requested that I wait until your arrival back at the airport before landing his craft. He is curious to know if you were able to solve the math problem, his engineers were able to work a solution that involved a teaspoon of beano, along with the solving of the math question given. That said, Mr. Slug would like you to know that this method of flying is dangerous, so more research is still being conducted and your help would still be greatly appreciated. This problem was much clearly more difficult than the previous ones, (nobody has yet attempted to give the answer) and we will continue to work the problem and invite our slug community to solve the riddle. Welcome back! Please stay tuned for more slug adventures coming very soon! Yippee!!! Love Mrs. Slug

Jeanne said...

According to the math genius in the household Mr. Slug will need 3,417.44312 pounds of slime. (He'd better be right...he tutors Algebra!)

Did someone lasso Mr. Slug and bring him back to earth?