Sunday, May 1, 2011

Reading text while eating is like texting and driving....don't do it!!! Also, if you own an "icky blue pen," get rid of it!!!

Occaisionally, Mr. Slug will have a nibble while studying his school books. He tries to watch what goes in, but sometimes he gets so wrapped up in the subject that he will find he has literally mowed a path through the garden without even stopping to see what he has eaten. Today was one of those perfect days, bright sun, light breeze and the scent of spring flowers in the air. It was a perfect day to study outside, so a rolling cart was prepared for his rather hefty text, and a napkin was tied neatly about the chin.  This method of eating and reading simultaneously works very well for slugs, as they can slide effortlessly as they nibble, absorbing fantastic amounts of knowledge in to the brain as it receives much needed nourishment along the way.  Unfortunately, Mr. Slug was not watching where he was going. He began to pick up some speed down a hill, but was so distracted by his book that he did not notice the loose bricks laying on the ground.  Suddenly, Mr. Slug felt a very heavy sensation in his belly! He had a very difficult time turning himself around and dragging his heavy schoolbook back up the hill. Lucky for Mr. Slug, the lawnmower was sitting at the edge of the yard, so he fired it up and drove himself to the slugspital, where he received quality treatment and a lecture from the good doctor on the dangers of reading while eating.!! Thank you for not being as thick as a brick.

Special rare slug alert: ***For those of you slug historians who are interested, this undated "blue ink on Brawny" napkin is another one of those rare documents that was lost for a time in the glove box of Mr. Slugs ancient Slugburban 8 cylinder sliding vehicle. It is a brown vehicular conveyance which was the daily slider for Mr. Slug to get to work for many years. He cleaned out all of the trash one day and found a large handful of rare and quite valuable slug napkins, some of which were water damaged and blurry due to the delicate blue ink which they were drawn with. Once it was determined that a pen like that is death to a slug napkin, it was no longer employed. The napkin you see here is one of the best preserved of the napkins of this vintage, so enjoy it and savor it for there are not too many of these "icky blue pen" slug napkins left in the entire world.


Owen said...

Dear Mrs and Mr Slug,
Greetings to Slugville ! I think you are going to have to get in touch with Slugby's or Christie's, those famous auction houses, and put the old blue ink napkins up on the auction block... Like some of Picasso's blue period, I'm thinking they could fetch you a pretty price indeed, enough to pay for a good long trip to London so as to try dining out at the Slug and Lettuce ! Wouldn't that be wonderful ?

Here's to your sluggish health, may you slide happily and heartily through endless patches of lettuce and rhubarb leaves !

babbler said...

Thanks again for sending us information about the Slug and Lettuce, we get regular emails about spinach specials which makes our rasp water! I think a trip to London is on the cards once Mr. Slug finishes his sluggy finishing school!
So good to see you here at Slug's Rest!

Snowbrush said...

"He began to pick up some speed..."

Speed being a relative term, of course. I hope you're not hurt that, instead of having his napkins professionally framed, he leaves them in the glovebox where they lie forgotten for months if not years.