Friday, October 30, 2009

"That's just the broccoli talking!"


Every now and then, a slug needs to go to the market for neccesary items, like chocolate bars. Mrs. Slug always prepares a list so that she does not forget the more important products, like paper napkins for lunches, broccoli and other essentials. Mr. and Mrs. Slug are careful not to get in the way of other shoppers, lest they get run over by a renegade shopping cart! Mr. Slug says, "Watch your tails, or it will be cleanup in aisle 3!"

4 comments:

Snowbrush said...

Ms Slug, here in the U.S. non-human shoppers are often legally barred from places that sell food unless they are wearing the kind of vest that a seeing eye dog might wear. I'm wondering, are you similarly discriminated against where you live? Also, do you find it difficult to lift products from high shelves (or low shelves for that matter) and put them into you shopping cart?

Also, Ms. Slug, you never come around to my blog anymore, and I just want you to know that you are missed.

babbler said...

Dear Mr. Snowbrush,
In order to shop, we slugs must slide under the automatic sliding door very fast before any checkers or baggers see us. Once we are in the store, no one pays much attention to us and we are free to shop. If we are harrassed, we simply slide quickly to a pile of tortillas and hide between the packages. As far as lifting products from high shelves is concerned, we slugs do what any customer would do....ram the basket into the shelf at high speed and let the item fall safely into the shopping cart. We then take our purchases to the self-check device that is designed to replace human labor, scan the item and place it into the bag. Without a human there to check our purchases, we feel no discrimination.
Thanks for visiting us here at Slugs Rest! ;)
Mrs. Slug

Owen said...

Dear Mrs Slug, I don't know why, but when presented with the image of the two of you happily scarfing up lettuce and broccoli and spinach and sprouts and parsley in the vegetable aisle and filling your cart to overflowing with all those good delicious scrumptious leafy green things which must be so TEMPTING to slugs (and it is just as well that you forgot the beer, as we know what happens when slugs get around bowls of beer), I have to admit, I had sudden visions of horror film scenarios the likes of which we have already seen, but the sort where a few humans are holed up at night in a locked grocery store, and outside the slugs start arriving, piling up against the walls and doors by the hundreds of thousands, until they form mounds up which the later arrivals can slide clear up onto the roof, where by the sheer weight of their numbers the roof collapses, allowing a flood of famished slugs to go slithering and sliding through the store to the vegetable aisle, while the terrified humans helplessly blast away at them with shotguns, but to no avail, they are overcome by the swarm and are devoured, except of course for the star and starlet who are smarter than the rest and manage to escape through an underground tunnel which the slugs hadn't discovered... the slugs retreated to the safety of the forest in the morning, leaving a slime covered supermarket in ruins...

Oh boy, like the Night of the Living Dead... do you think we could successfully market a screenplay ? Ah, banish the thought, we don't need to see that film made. Hmmm, but maybe the sequel to the first one could be the Night of the Giant Slug Revenge... whereby some mutant slugs who'd been exposed to radiation or something had become a giant variety as big as great white sharks, 12 feet long and hungry...

Oh dear, don't know what got into me there, a sudden bout of slugophobia perhaps... And by typing "fear of slugs" on Google, I quickly found that there is a name for it : Molluscophobia

Happily though, I'm not afraid of Mr and Mrs Slug, as it is clear that you two are of the adorable kind that no one in their right mind could be afraid of...

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