Today, Mr. Slug woke up to an empty underwear and sock drawer. To make matters worse, all of his work suits are out at the cleaners and all he had to wear was a tatty old hooded sweatshirt and a tailsock that was too thin to consider wearing. Mr. Slug decided that he had too much to do at work to take the day off, so he pulled the hoodie over his mantle and slid to the office feeling inappropriately dressed but ready to face the stack of file folders and phone messages on his desk, as well as the expected snickers from his co-workers. Everything was going fine, until.....
Mrs. Slug received a call from Mr. Slug at lunchtime. Mr. Slug said that he was, "in a panic" and to bring him a suit, tie and wingtip tailshoe as soon as possible. He said quickly, "The head honchos are on the way to take the crew to a nice restaurant for a lunch meeting today. It figures that the bosses would pick today of all days. This sweatshirt smells like a gym."
Mrs. Slug knew that there were no clothes available, so she stopped by the nearest haberdasher and bought a new suit, tie, and the finest Egyptian cotton shirt money can buy. She then slid on over to the shoe store and purchased one very special Ferragamo tailshoe made of the softest Corinthian leather upper with a custom stacked heel that even comes with a nifty raised insert to help Mr. Slug look extra tall and important.
When Mrs. Slug arrived at the office, the group of businessslugs were arriving. Some of them were already in the elevator! Mrs. Slug took the stairs, er, handrail, and slid to the tenth floor as fast as she could slide. Mr. Slug was able to slide into his new suit quickly. The businessslugs were lined up in the hallway, waiting for Mr. Slug to join them. Mr. Slug filled the sink with water and soap and went for a quick swim. He dried himself off with the automatic hair dryer and slicked back his optical tentacles with water. He looked at himself one last time in the mirror to make sure he had no spinach stuck in his rasp when he smiles. He straightened his new silk tie and smoothed the lines of his coat before saying to himself, "Mr. Slug, you handsome mollusk, you know you got it goin' on. I would sign a six figure contract with you, just because you look so good!" Mr. Slug slid to lunch with the group and gave a hearty flick of the tail back at his loving wife as he left to lunch.
The next day, Mr. Slug held a safety meeting. The topic for the day was, "A good businessslug will always have an emergency suit of clothes on hand for the unexpected meeting or executive lunch. Do not let yourself be caught without the proper threads for a surprise meeting. If you don't have a suit of clothes always on hand, at least have the sense to marry a loving and attentive wife who knows what you look best in and can get them for you in a pinch."
Mr. Slug celebrated with Mrs. Slug by buying her a new dress and an adorable strappy little tailsandal with a jeweled buckle before he took her out to the theater the following weekend. Mr. Slug certainly knows where his bread is buttered!
