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Reapply the sunscreen before falling asleep on the Lido Deck

They won! They won BIG! Yay! Mr. and Mrs. Slug have had a run of good luck! Mr. Slug says, "When you are on a roll, just go with it. Cash those winning tickets in as soon as possible, and don't forget to bring your swim suit. Oh yeah - if your wife falls asleep in her lounge chair, you better wake her up before she is visibly pink and her tender slug skin is sunburned. Your fabulous streak of luck could be in danger if you do not follow the proper guidelines on the cruiseline."

An atmospheric disturbance of the peace

Mr. Slug's grandmother used to say, "Better an empty house than a bad tenant." This particular bit of advice from his notorious elderslug may get him into a bit of trouble with the law! The police had better slap the cuffs on him quick before he lets another one loose!

Mr. Slug's education pays off!

Since Mr. Slug has been teaching a class in tailwagging, Mrs. Slug has been having dreams related to daily life. Sometimes dreams can be so real! Slide! Slide Mr. and Mrs. Slug! Slide for your lives!

Class begins promptly at 8:00 am, don't be late!

Every youngster needs a good role model to look up to. An adult who cares about the future of our youth. Someone who takes an interest in teaching poise, good manners and discipline. The adult needs to be a patient fellow, who keeps his composure when the youngsters need a litle extra help with a new and difficult task. Now, everysluggy, repeat after me......"Tail wagging is FUN!!!"

Thrills and chills in coolsville

Being sick is no fun, especially when you are a slug with a belly that is already quite gooey. Add the extra goo that comes with a sinus drip and you have a very gooey wife, indeed! Despite the fact that Mrs. Slug is under the weather, our busy little Mrs. Slug has been practicing her new xylophone for a part she wishes to audition for. Mr. Slug insisted that she put down her mallets and get some rest, or he will apply the Mr. Clampy to her tail along with the medicine! Mrs. Slug gently laid down her mallets and allowed Mr. Slug to administer the Vicks. She said that she will be a good Mrs. Slug if Mr. Slug will "please get her a bowl of ice cream." Mr. Slug went out to the store and bought his wife the flavor of his choice because she won't be able to taste it. Something is not right with this picture!

Shhhh! Be quiet and let me do all the talking.

To supply the much needed capital for his new business, (selling the auxiliary brain sponges at the Emporium,) Mr. Slug is now employed with the school district as a transportation technician. Mr. Slug mistakenly thought that the short buses have a top speed of fifty miles an hour, but it turns out that these precision driving machines can move much faster than the bigger buses. These babies have a turbo-charged Detroit Diesel and a souped up dual exhast with all the trimmings! No mamby pamby rigs for this Mr. Slug! Get outta the way! Oh yeah, except for you, Mr. Officer, Sir......I shall watch my speed and weaving in the future. Thank you for the warning. It won't happen again.

Take the short bus to the factory outlet sale!

Knowing your customer base is one of the key factors to the success of a small business. If your customers are basically clueless, then offer them something they can really use! Let your team of talented and persuasive sales-slugs guide them toward the purchase, then watch the cash roll in. Soon, there will be a Mr. Slug's Brain Emporium in every major metropolitan area. Don't delay! Your future is now! Buy your franchise before everyone else buys a new brain from Mr. Slug and thinks of it before you do!!!!! Hurry!

Mr. Canopener feels slighted!

Modern technology has a way of taking away that personal touch from everyday transactions. Does anybody have a can of beans they need opened? No pop tops, please! You will hurt Mr. Canopener's feelings, and we don't want that. You know how dangerous he can be when he is angry!

Flip me like a pancake

Even a cattle prod to the belly won't wake Mr. Slug today, his wife kept him up all night by making him play with the bedside laptop computer. Mr. Slug says that he needs to rearrange his sleeping schedule, as it is causing him to have strange dreams. I think it is time that we invest in one of those alarm clocks that makes the relaxing sounds of the ocean and birdies and other soothing settings........Mr. Slug says that he needs his Mrs. Slug to simply get to bed earlier.... Mrs. Slug says that he is probably right. Why? Because he is Mr. Slug, that's why! He is the head of the house. When Mr. Slug says, "Now brush your rasp and get to bed!" Mrs. Slug says, Righty-o Professor!"

A good time begins with being on time!

Mr. Slug likes to get to every destination safely and promptly. He says being on time makes him feel more confident and professional. Mr. Slug decided that he would invent a machine that will help even the tardiest slug slide to every appointment on time and in a chipper mood. A machine like this could change the way we do business with our fellow slugs, don't you think?

Plump full of juicy goodness!

As everyone knows, a high water content is recommended for good health and well-being. Mr. Slug likes to give back to his community by inviting his friends to check out his newest invention, "The Slug-O-Meter Water Content Device." Ads were run on the local radio. There was excitement in the air! The line of eager slugs snaked all the way around the block. This situation caused a bit of grumbling, particularly from slugs who have not been taking care of themselves, hence, they were improperly hydrated! If you find yourself irritable and snappy today, come on over to Slug's Rest and get your water content checked! Mr. Slug says, "You'll be glad you did!" (This ad paid for by the Federation of Highly Hydrated Slugs)

The importance of proper training!

Lately, Mr. Slug has busied himself with the maintenance and cleaning of all vehicular conveyances before embarking on his next adventure. Mr. Slug says, "A clean choo-choo is a happy choo-choo." The moral of this story is to keep your cow guard clean, and keep an eye on the tracks!

Go West, young slug!

Ahh, the romance of the great outdoors! You can see the tumbleweed rolling by, smell the sweet desert flowers begin to bloom and hear the crush of rocks under the wheels of the stagecoach as we make new tracks toward a new frontier. Good thing the new frontier has plenty of rest stops!

I like big trucks and I cannot lie.........

Since Mr. Slug moved from the big city to a small town in Oregon, he has taken on a whole new set of interests and hobbies. Yes, it is true, Mr. Slug adores disco music, but lately, the radio in his big ol' four wheel drive Suburban has been tuned to the very finest pickin' and grinnin' music a slug has ever danced the one-step to!

Charging by the smile

Mr. Slug is feeling so perky and alive today, thanks to the quick thinking of his beloved wife who insisted that he do something about his sluggishness, which is natural to most slugs. Ahh, the miracle of modern technology! After this appointment, Mr. Slug will be getting a belly wax, a tail scrub and possibly a new shoe if there is anything left in the checkbook!

"Give me automatic deposit on the paycheck, please."

A slug, to be happy, must do what a slug does best. Optimum utilization of the tail is the key to a rewarding career. A surplus of goo under the belly doesn't hurt, either.

A biting commentary from the wife

Mr. Slug enjoys the finer things in life. He feels that an individual should spare no expense when it comes to creature comfort. He also believes that if you can achieve that comfort through the latest in technological advances, an intelligent individual owes it to himself to purchase said technological advancement, take it out of the box, recycle all styrofoam packing, and commence to apply that fabulous technology to any sore spots that may be present on the neck of said individual for the amount of time deemed necessary to alleviate said irritation.

Let's swing in the New Year, shall we?

Everything was ready for the special New Years evening out - the dinner jacket was cleaned and pressed, the tickets for the jazz concert and dance were purchased, the hotel reservations were confirmed, the entire plan was executed flawlessly, except for one item that did not get packed into the overnight bag. Can you guess what that one essential item might have been?

Time is on your side, strapped to your ribs

Mrs. Slug asked, "What are we going to wear to the New Years party?" Naturally, we all like to look our best, don't we? Mr. Slug looked his wife in the eye and said, "I'll need my dinner jacket and tuxedo shirt to go to the cleaners at once!" The garments were delivered immediately. The rush order will be ready to pick up at exactly 4:30pm on Dec. 31, 2008. Mr. Slug says, "There is no time to waste!!! Slide! SSSSLIDE!!! Dammit, Slug, slide toward the New Year! Be quick about it! Wheeeee!!!"

Chock full of well rested slugs at Slug's Rest

As we pull in to platform number 2009 at the railway station of life, the royal inhabitants whom reside at Slug's Rest are reminded, "It is the little things that make every day more exciting and fun." Indeed. I dare say. Mr. and Mrs. Slug had quite a number of invited, and, uninvited guests to the estate this past month. All were welcome and treated like family! Even the wildlife knows where to find the premium label treats! Just for the record............Alcohol was not served to the forest animals at any time during their visit. You may, however, find an erratic slug trail or two on the grounds if you look closely enough.

Eight arms make for light work, as well as a tasty dinner!

Although it has been somewhat chilly of late, we have been blessed to have some decent rainy weather here at the coast while other parts of the country remain in either a deep freeze or getting severe weather alerts from the convergence of the warm and cold fronts hitting each other. Thank goodness for the little things....Santa has come and gone safely. Everything was as it should be, so,....the carefree slugs decided to go out and see a movie. They originally slid out to see the new comedy starring actor Slim Scary called "Yes, Slug." Somehow they ended up seeing just the opposite! Mr. Slug insisted on an action flick. Mrs. Slug warned Mr. Slug that he might have nightmares if they go to see this particular movie. It is called, "Octogantua devours the swamp!" AAGGGHHHH! Scared ya, didn't I? Well, it certainly scared Mr. Slug! He drank three full mugs camomille tea to calm his jittery tail! O.K., maybe it was a LITTLE bit cold out there.

Santa must have had fun getting this down the chimney!

Mrs. Slug was delighted with her Christmas gift, as Mr. Slug suspected that she would be. The only trouble with it was that I think Mr. Slug would have preferred to relax inside the house on Christmas day, whereas Mrs. Slug was ready to RIDE!!

Why is everything closed today? I have needs!

When Mr. Slug asks someone a question, he does not expect to be toyed with, he just wants a simple answer to a simple question.

Those Christmas hats look Gooooo'ed!

As you can see, these Christmas slugs are prepared for you on the backside of the more expensive "Mistletoe print" napkins, and therefore, a rare collectors Christmas edition of the Slug Adventures archives, made especially for you! Yeah! ~Alright!~ Righteous! You might even get some money for it at a pawn shop, once they open again.