For an unlimited time only, this heavy duty love machine has been made available aboard the Love Stoat Cruise Lines. It works even better in the rough weather when the ship is rockin' and rollin'! Immerse yourself in gooey love....you will never want to return to land again!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Reapply the sunscreen before falling asleep on the Lido Deck
They won! They won BIG! Yay! Mr. and Mrs. Slug have had a run of good luck! Mr. Slug says, "When you are on a roll, just go with it. Cash those winning tickets in as soon as possible, and don't forget to bring your swim suit. Oh yeah - if your wife falls asleep in her lounge chair, you better wake her up before she is visibly pink and her tender slug skin is sunburned. Your fabulous streak of luck could be in danger if you do not follow the proper guidelines on the cruiseline."
Thursday, February 12, 2009
An atmospheric disturbance of the peace
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Mr. Slug's education pays off!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Class begins promptly at 8:00 am, don't be late!
Every youngster needs a good role model to look up to. An adult who cares about the future of our youth. Someone who takes an interest in teaching poise, good manners and discipline. The adult needs to be a patient fellow, who keeps his composure when the youngsters need a litle extra help with a new and difficult task. Now, everysluggy, repeat after me......"Tail wagging is FUN!!!"
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Thrills and chills in coolsville
Being sick is no fun, especially when you are a slug with a belly that is already quite gooey. Add the extra goo that comes with a sinus drip and you have a very gooey wife, indeed! Despite the fact that Mrs. Slug is under the weather, our busy little Mrs. Slug has been practicing her new xylophone for a part she wishes to audition for. Mr. Slug insisted that she put down her mallets and get some rest, or he will apply the Mr. Clampy to her tail along with the medicine! Mrs. Slug gently laid down her mallets and allowed Mr. Slug to administer the Vicks. She said that she will be a good Mrs. Slug if Mr. Slug will "please get her a bowl of ice cream." Mr. Slug went out to the store and bought his wife the flavor of his choice because she won't be able to taste it. Something is not right with this picture!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Shhhh! Be quiet and let me do all the talking.
To supply the much needed capital for his new business, (selling the auxiliary brain sponges at the Emporium,) Mr. Slug is now employed with the school district as a transportation technician. Mr. Slug mistakenly thought that the short buses have a top speed of fifty miles an hour, but it turns out that these precision driving machines can move much faster than the bigger buses. These babies have a turbo-charged Detroit Diesel and a souped up dual exhast with all the trimmings! No mamby pamby rigs for this Mr. Slug! Get outta the way! Oh yeah, except for you, Mr. Officer, Sir......I shall watch my speed and weaving in the future. Thank you for the warning. It won't happen again.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Take the short bus to the factory outlet sale!
Knowing your customer base is one of the key factors to the success of a small business. If your customers are basically clueless, then offer them something they can really use! Let your team of talented and persuasive sales-slugs guide them toward the purchase, then watch the cash roll in. Soon, there will be a Mr. Slug's Brain Emporium in every major metropolitan area. Don't delay! Your future is now! Buy your franchise before everyone else buys a new brain from Mr. Slug and thinks of it before you do!!!!! Hurry!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Mr. Canopener feels slighted!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Flip me like a pancake
Even a cattle prod to the belly won't wake Mr. Slug today, his wife kept him up all night by making him play with the bedside laptop computer. Mr. Slug says that he needs to rearrange his sleeping schedule, as it is causing him to have strange dreams. I think it is time that we invest in one of those alarm clocks that makes the relaxing sounds of the ocean and birdies and other soothing settings........Mr. Slug says that he needs his Mrs. Slug to simply get to bed earlier.... Mrs. Slug says that he is probably right. Why? Because he is Mr. Slug, that's why! He is the head of the house. When Mr. Slug says, "Now brush your rasp and get to bed!" Mrs. Slug says, Righty-o Professor!"
Sunday, January 25, 2009
A good time begins with being on time!
Mr. Slug likes to get to every destination safely and promptly. He says being on time makes him feel more confident and professional. Mr. Slug decided that he would invent a machine that will help even the tardiest slug slide to every appointment on time and in a chipper mood. A machine like this could change the way we do business with our fellow slugs, don't you think?
Friday, January 23, 2009
Plump full of juicy goodness!
As everyone knows, a high water content is recommended for good health and well-being. Mr. Slug likes to give back to his community by inviting his friends to check out his newest invention, "The Slug-O-Meter Water Content Device." Ads were run on the local radio. There was excitement in the air! The line of eager slugs snaked all the way around the block. This situation caused a bit of grumbling, particularly from slugs who have not been taking care of themselves, hence, they were improperly hydrated! If you find yourself irritable and snappy today, come on over to Slug's Rest and get your water content checked! Mr. Slug says, "You'll be glad you did!" (This ad paid for by the Federation of Highly Hydrated Slugs)
Saturday, January 17, 2009
The importance of proper training!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Go West, young slug!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
I like big trucks and I cannot lie.........
Since Mr. Slug moved from the big city to a small town in Oregon, he has taken on a whole new set of interests and hobbies. Yes, it is true, Mr. Slug adores disco music, but lately, the radio in his big ol' four wheel drive Suburban has been tuned to the very finest pickin' and grinnin' music a slug has ever danced the one-step to!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Charging by the smile
Mr. Slug is feeling so perky and alive today, thanks to the quick thinking of his beloved wife who insisted that he do something about his sluggishness, which is natural to most slugs. Ahh, the miracle of modern technology! After this appointment, Mr. Slug will be getting a belly wax, a tail scrub and possibly a new shoe if there is anything left in the checkbook!
Monday, January 5, 2009
"Give me automatic deposit on the paycheck, please."
Saturday, January 3, 2009
A biting commentary from the wife
Mr. Slug enjoys the finer things in life. He feels that an individual should spare no expense when it comes to creature comfort. He also believes that if you can achieve that comfort through the latest in technological advances, an intelligent individual owes it to himself to purchase said technological advancement, take it out of the box, recycle all styrofoam packing, and commence to apply that fabulous technology to any sore spots that may be present on the neck of said individual for the amount of time deemed necessary to alleviate said irritation.
Let's swing in the New Year, shall we?
Everything was ready for the special New Years evening out - the dinner jacket was cleaned and pressed, the tickets for the jazz concert and dance were purchased, the hotel reservations were confirmed, the entire plan was executed flawlessly, except for one item that did not get packed into the overnight bag. Can you guess what that one essential item might have been?
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